dark circle

as i am writing (12.40am monday) the dark circle under my eyes are so obvious, i can't believe it. good thing in church i wear specs so nobody noticed. H.U.G.E. was great, it was such a fantastic time with friends and also gospel. when everybody was in elim eating, i went in to canaan hall to pack my stuffs for a short while; and in utter silence, i felt joy, and thanked God for all the wonderful things that he put in my life.. tnt buddies, tnt CG, teenz CG, english wmm, bilingual wmm, teenz leaders buddies, close friends, family. it's good to know that even if i miss out something in the world, i think i don't miss out much of what God wants me to have and to be in. It's the BEST.


past week have been full of activities besides sch & traveling. relatives from holland came and i accompany them to sentosa island n orchard road.


so my rest & study days were taken up in full. they left on sat after a satisfying meal at yean's bak ku teh. =)

now the zeal to learn dutch is back, heh. =P


photos taken by me (yay!) on the open top double-decker bus in sentosa island.
cousins, uncles & aunties..
right after taking this pic, the bus went through a tunnel, i have to duck, fast. ha.


after so many years, going back to underwater world is fun. at the entrance, there's actually two 'touch' pools where u can reach your hand into the water and touch the sea creatures, string rays, beautiful fishes. awesome.

big live crabby.

oh ya, they r real good-looking, get stares & comments from female strangers. half chinese. they r so proud to be chinese, i don't understand. if it's me i might feel proud to be half dutch, lol.


cute lil' jakey. "nya-nya-nyak". ran in and out of starbucks in wisma astria and attracted all the smiles from on-lookers.



what a week it has been, great weekend too. tis weekend played drums in teenz, sat night service, sunday morning service, album prac, and H.U.G.E rally. dunno y suddenly the duties come together like the rare alignment of solar system. i think i know why i play better - lots of playing breeds improvement.

some approached me to ask when will be the start of another drum course in FGC, hmm..
"split me into two persons, babeh."


tomorrow, another day of adventure in new things. i wonder how is my students' performance in the drum theory exam, see when am i free to go collect back the exam papers to mark, hehehehe...




oh God.. i'm so tired... inbox got 89 unchecked emails, siao, sign out..
oh, but the pre-service prayer in teenz really refreshes me..


great celebration tomorrow night, for i am going to sleep 8 hours! woo hoo!!!!

Hillsong United - None But Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

serenity

sunday..

i wish i could split into two during weekends, so that i can rest to prepare for weekdays.
A little jaded of meeting schedules by the minutes.
had breakfast at 7, lunch at 4.30, dinner at 11.
tonight will achieve my target of sleeping before 2, yay.

but it's really nice teaching drums today, although some students made me a little sad and worried, one tried to cheer me up and succeeded. =) it's amusing to see how proud she felt to be able to cheer me up, haha.

the last quiet student finally warmed up to me, a very well-prepared and diligent student. cute little 8-yr old girl with stunningly big, crystal gleaming double-lid eyes. seriously the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen in my life, with a pretty smile to backup. ha.
if i were to have a daughter, hopefully she will have eyes like her. =P


in this church (not FGC), i'm teaching some of the coolest girls, pretty and deadly in drums - scare off the ego boys in the future, lol. my boy students are not too bad too, some r also quite talented and all are very 'teachable'.
i enjoy my work, it's nice to see them learning drums so quickly.

i find myself smiling after finishing the last class, saying byes, switching off the warm spotlights and riding home in cold winds. the end of every sunday, one of the colourful photos in my memory album.

another change in 6 months, i think, becoming a cycle. meeting different people, facing other challenges, changing of schedule. Seems that nothing ever stays, besides family, close friends and the author of life.

so.. goodnight, close my eyes, and dream of another colour, in tomorrow's light.

love

was very enlightened & encouraged by this.. from evan almighty, heh. nice comedy.


If you prayed for patience,
do you think God will give you patience,
or opportunities to be patient?

If you prayed for courage,
will God give you strong courage,
or opportunities to be courageous?

If you pray for your family to be closer,
do u think that God is absent of warm fuzzy feelings,
or He gives opportunities to love more?


...

so, maybe

If i asked for diligence,
God gives me time & space,
and finally puts in a little restriction, criticism, and loads of encouragement.

If i asked for rest,
he shows me the unnecessary baggage that can be put off.

If i asked for love,
He puts me in a group of people who love,
and another group that needs love.

If i asked for companionship,
he throws in a little surprise,
and in the end,
shows me that even if I stand silent,
I'm never alone.

If I asked for a better life,
or, life.
well..
one day i'll get an answer for that... =)

Lifehouse - 'Everything' skit

thks, pei pei.



"You have to watch the end... I don't know who put this together nor do I know when or where. All I know is they did a tremendous job and for some this skit could be life changing."

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

pics

wow, seow ching's photo-taking skill is astonishing. this is danga bay, taken from her blog.
Sunset, everyday wonders.


next, my school n future workplace. just right behind that dark building. middle, white thing is mrt station.


3 mins away, the famous hotel, river & bridge. my favourite 'breathe & think' place, beautiful at night.


night scene, from another perspective.

14 hours

what a Sunday it has been. came early to church to guide a new drummer in drumming, only to find that he didn't turn up, how disappointing. but it was ok, replace jmond for a short while before he showed up for duty; then i happily go CBC to play drums, surprised to see that i'm the only musician there. am i missing something?

even so, it's always great to play in CBC, cos people are much more simple, and it's easy to worship. oh ya, and kids are so cute, until you get to know them, lol.

after that, sermon... highlight of the day - meeting Joel & Rebecca, =) it's been so long, words are few. ... ... his snapping habit is still there though, haha. i remember many yrs ago when we hang around in english service, going out wif a bunch of guys, bowling, s'pore zoo - laughed at the baboons, saying that their red big butts is butt cancer.

.. heh heh.. sigh...

had album practice.. went to work, 10.45pm. went to a Bday party at howard's place, 12am.


it's been a long day, and i still feel tired now, monday morning.


different phases every few years, how much more does it have to change?

transform.

*yawn* .. tomorrow's teenz again. 3rd week of manners month.. next month street-e again.. autobots, move out.

feeling like a slow 'manual-bot'.

Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser

Shadowfeet

Walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing: less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way



You make all things new

[CHORUS 2]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

like that

day come and go as i do my stuffs, settle some delayed things. study accounts, write exam paper for my drum students, recover from flu. learning to be almost totally independent n really grow up. i like the mixture of international students in class, where singaporeans aren' t the majority, and not the chinese either, but i'm the only m'sian. :(

students from vietnam, maldives, china, india, brunei, indonesia, myanmar, nepal. and lecturer's from UK, outstanding lecturer, and very humorous. so that's the popular college i'm attending in raffles place. dunno y i rarely talk about my studies that happen on weekdays. erm, i study accountancy; tax, financial reporting, strategic business planning & development, professional ethics, and business analysis for this june-dec 2007 period. (a lot of case study in my studies, companies like Enron, arthur anderson, NKF, the body shop, ikea..)
i don't stay in s'pore, i travel in-out everyday, like my bro.
every sunday afternoon till night i teach drums in another church, as a part-time income.
.my life.


i still enjoy a cool breeze of sea wind on a beach, over the setting sun n under a simple kite. but need company la, similar to alan's plight, ha.


the song you hear is from Hillsong's latest album (Saviour King). one of the songs that caught my attention. singer is Brooke Fraser - NZ n australia's no.1 pop artist, titus told me. nice voice n writes good lyrics.


alan put this poem in his blog a long while ago, nice poem..
hope that i could write like that one day, to express well in words.

Forgetfulness




The Poem - The name of the author is the first to go followed obediently by the title, the plot, the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never even heard of, as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain, to a little fishing village where there are no phones. Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag, and even now as you memorize the order of the planets, something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps, the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay. Whatever it is you are struggling to remember, it is not poised on the tip of your tongue, not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen. It has floated away down a dark mythological river whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall, well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle. No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war. No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

One.

looking back at the days when i used to play old video games like mario, when the level gets higher and i kept 'dying' till the last life remaining, a few emotions tensed up within me. Sometimes i get very nervous and freeze up, at times i lose hope and 'simply' play, other times, i try very hard to stay alive and be very stressed up; and at one time, i have fun playing, and enjoy the game while it lasts.


today, i thought of my remaining lives.



one.











only one.

What we do in this life, echoes in eternity..

.

hiding place

i find that one of the ways to make myself really attentive during Sunday sermons is to assume that i need to do sermon sharing during the next TnT cell group time.

what pst dennis shared this morning struck me as i was listening, lol-ing and jotting down notes..
relationship with Christ should far exceed serving. lately boon n wah have been emphasizing this, with Jim Yost coming soon during missions month n the 40 days fast & prayer till our nation's 50th independence anniversary. i think.. heh

i was having a wonderful "after-meal" with tnt buddies, sitting around a long table savouring/wiping out leftover wedding food, happily chatting with Ming Hui; but a phone call jolted me out of the chatter spirit, back into a forgotten meeting schedule. I excused myself and was silently awaken by a phrase by Ming Hui: "oh, again ar, bye.."

"where got 'again', only this time lor.."

"only this time? yesterday's cell also like that lor, quickly share TAWG then need to go off"


that few sentences imploded in my head, kept wondering in my mind for a while, and finally settled down in peace when i heard dennis' sermon this sunday morning.




Hiding place.





when the world coughs up a storm, when time races you inevitably to the next phase in life, when insecurity n hurts stamps its place in the deepest corner of the heart.

I can find rest in my saviour n God, and he will renew me in his likeness.


Be purified and one day, soon, be able to say that your love is better than wine.

serenity with hurts

This would be the prayer for my next 5 yrs.


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr


and probably, God grant me the wisdom how to handle & accept people that has a selfish heart n lousy mouth.

start to understand why there is a quote like:
"I love mankind, it's humans that i can't stand."

“So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.”

1 Peter 2:1-3

"ok guys, roll out!!"

"transformers~.. ~~ molest me you die~ "

the melodious phrase that my bro n I used to joke about when the cartoon is mentioned.

watched it this afternoon at its 1st day premier. really good, guys will love it to bits, the action scenes, special effects & sound are fresh & absolutely fantastic, and the movie has its share of humour too.

the movie trailer offers only this, so much more in da movie itself. heh..
definitely a must-watch! =)

i wonder will i ever open my heart again.

heh heh

heh heh, me in jusco tebrau. best drum set ever played, slightly better than the one in asian beat competition.



hair getting long...


A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:

Oh! That's so cute!

Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Oh no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.






A Man's Conversation About a Haircut:


"Haircut?"

"Yep."

Man

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein

Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I found out the measure of a man
God knows and understand
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

4HIM – “Measure of a Man”




cool..

silent wave

what a long week, vacation in genting, preparation for the "firsts": first christian band performance in jusco, my personal first drum workshop in another church..


just came back from danga bay yamaha (monday night), two new students, learned fast, happy. they happy me happy.
life sure passed so fast after my exams, it's a busy schedule and lately it's starting to slow down (yay heh). to catch more sleep, clear the black eye rings, see some sunsets, write some stuffs..




i wonder if i have two personalities, mainly one in normal life and another one in teaching drums.
i see myself walking around chatting non-stop loud n cheerfully during last night's drum seminar, being open and bright n cheery with the young kids, make them laugh n adore me. speaking in a higher, clearer voice. do cute stuffs and draw the attention of my listeners. being the person that i wished to be.

the dream me.


and when the drum seminar ends, they helped me put back the drum set, went home. and i stayed back to clean the white board with alcohol-soaked toilet paper, slowly; under the yellow-orange glow stage spotlight, with my favourite sentimental soundtrack playing in the background. while the pretty drum student (a few yrs younger than me) waits for me to clear up the place so that she can lock the church doors.

i thanked her and reminded her to revise the drum materials learned on that day, and left. went to the faithful motorcycle, loaded in heavy stuffs, and rode back home, in 30 minutes of sad road lights & drizzle.

leaving behind a fake dream that once is all of me.



thinking back at that time, what happened a few hours ago in the afternoon, in jusco. the hype & exhaustion, the lesson of trust & humility in Christ. the beauty of unity, and the wonderful personalities. i told God that i'm amazed at his planning and uniqueness, smiling in my heart seeing the people, church people, being the way they are, always will be.



and i see myself walking out of doubt, confusion.. more into confidence and purpose, dropping the depressed knife, holding jagged heart nearer to the old cross.


And welcoming July.

busy

been busy lately.. will write in a few days' time..
meanwhile, check out the single of high school musical 2. =)

smile

smile, for it's over..

Pam

i was greatly encouraged n challenged by what she shared, really good..
=)

1st day of exam, here i go..