Mother's day with grandma

I had a great day of rest at grandma's in Kluang on Saturday. =)
That's the Mother's day cake.

Watched good tv channel together, reading her old books, a nice australian pictorial cook book, help pulling tapioca out from the ground.

Home is sweetest

"Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world."

- Kate Douglas Wiggin

Brace yourself like a man

http://www.newlifechurch.org/podcast.jsp --> TheMill podcast --> CO-ED --> Co-ED - Brace yourself like a man - Aaron Stern

(when download sermon title might be "brace yourself like a woman", ha)


A very, very important sermon by Aaron Stern that changed my concept of manhood and challenged me to rise up to be a man.

I recommend you to listen to this if u're a guy =)

[Caution: not for the faint-hearted]


Job 38:3
Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.

1 Kings 2:2
"I am about to go the way of all the earth," he said. "So be strong, show yourself a man.

1 Cor 16:13 (NASB)
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

1 Cor 13:11
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

When I survey / pages

I think I am one with my office chair. Ok, i'll stop the loathing.

Alan wrote a really beautiful email about our cell group today, it really warms my heart to see that, hey, there's actually this wonderful side in each of us. I think that email is classic, and Alan downplays himself when he is writing about himself, ha.

(my TnT cell group is awesome, if you're interested, ask Titus)

And solely for my own super-duper feel-good's sake, this is how he described me:

Always the bearer of very funny cold jokes as well as a very visual communicator with God. Victor has a very unique gift that is expressing himself in art forms. His two strongest anointing are music and poetry. God gives him something, he processes it, and shares it with the rest of us from the stage and from his blog. To us, Victor is a very special person in our eyes because he has such a character that is so likeable, so clever, yet so modest. We have a lot to learn from him. :) Currently, he's a busy dude working 42 hours a day so he has to skip CG sometimes, but we always welcome him with open arm. Pray that his workload will lessen as well.

haha. "yeah, woo hoo! but am i really that good? how weird it is to be seen as too artistic and seemed not normal", I heard myself.

Well, if it's true, I wish I could express myself better in person and in conversations, and wished I were really that clever. hehe.

Partly felt a little glad to be working, made me more practical, sensible and less cloudy. Loved the way you aged nearer to a level when love is spending time with others, patience, and seeing beauty in brutal reality and sincere weakness. Of course I am not there yet, let the first step urge the second ba.

----------
Pages
----------
Have you ever heard of the story of the legend of....? Where the common folk turns hero, maybe by dire circumstances, through the lost of something really important, or by hard work or chance. The story of a lifetime, the classic romance, the pauper turned prince, duckling to swan, darkness to sunrise, nerd to super-cool, insignificance to greatness, deepest impossible hurt/emptiness to healing and soaring.

Probably today there's nothing, but what if we are a character in a story, and the pages kept flipping. Given a chance, hold His pen, what would we choose to write or draw in the next page. Or if you are as speechless as I am when holding the heavy little pen, at least, what would we name the title of the next chapter, which page would we put a bookmark on, which page would we tear off/treasure. Which way would you look at, will you flip back, read the current page or flip forward first? Which page excites you most? The colorful ones, the empty ones, the torn ones, messy-writing ones, or neatly written and perfumed one?

What makes a great book? Of course a great cover would be the best, everybody sees the cover first. I guess. Oh ya, and then the contents, everything in the story went well, some cute little hiccups, but everything went really, really well. hmm.. What would the ending be? The friend who stayed loyal till the end when the world crash & burn? The square-peg and round-hole strangers who ended up in the greatest love story & marriage? Modern-day Robinson Crusoe? The dysfunctional family that changed the society for good? The predictable normal guy/girl who lived and wonders? The fearless and wild that ended up broke/rich with little tingles of uncommon sense and meaning?
What would u prefer? Fiction, non-fiction, children, self-help, religious, jokes, fantasy, instructional?

hmm..

If the character dies in the end, if even mid-way, will you read it? Will you skip the scary parts of the chapter? Will you first read the part where the character gets married to whom or stays single forever, what choices of further study is given and taken away, when will children be given, great chances being spotted and taken, any preventive steps to take note of, anything to prepare for?

Oh, I remembered. If we write our pages wrongly, we can always send it to our neighbour for review. Remember your neighbour? He is nice, but some people find him quirky, nosey. Some don't see him before therefore think there's no such guy in our neighbourhood. Some of my friends ignore him cos he's not really the type they hang out with.

As for my perfect little house, a little messy (actually a lot and some things falling apart) but perfect, he always come knocking on my door looking for a nice chat with fantastic fresh smelling cookies to offer. No strings attached.

After a while, guess what, i got to know that he is a New York bestseller author! What priviledge and chance to have him look through my self-written pages. He helps change the lines, adds vivid colour and dynamics to the storyline, but before this, he guides me on the technique and concepts of writing. I didn't know there is so much thought and effort needed in even writing a sentence, in plotting a good twist, to engage the senses and capture my heart and readers.

Now my book is better, in a way. At first I thought it won't be my book anymore due to the numerous amendments, but as I look through again from the first pages, seems like it brings out the best in me, of course it has the unmistakeable signatures of my neighbour, but strangely it is something I can call my own.

The book is currently going into the 3rd chapter, and it's already about 2-inches thick. Continue writing anyway, love it to bits. Lately he said that he's going away for a while, a conference somewhere, and asked that I give him the book a while and watch what surprising things he is able to write. He promised to keep in touch. Well, I am still not sure until now, in fact, it is my book right. Dunno la, I think i'll hold it for another day to decide.


--end, i think--

---------------------------

I created a new survey at the right upper column, fill in ba. =) And i would love to hear comments if the above short passage makes u think.

i hate working for more than 13 hrs,

but there's peace in my heart, and something that tells me it's gonna be okay. Labour day's coming soon, and i'm gonna be so free to study, hehe.

I think I have already lost the artistic side of me, when all do is writing poetry, browsing art paintings, finding a good deviantart pix, visit nature, listening to music, play slow jazz and crazy rock on the drums, in a studio by the beach.

That phase is over, now i enjoy a call to my sis or close friends, mom's cooking, being with my family, waiting for bro to come home, listen to instrumental music/sermons, and lying on the bed talking to God till i fall asleep.

What's up with me.

So, do, la, fa, mi, do, re..

Sound of music in Belgium train station, fwded by Jeff. below, the prayer. Something nice to look n listen to after 1 illness & 1 passing away..

The Prayer - Josh Groban

I still could remember vividly what are the last few sentences she told me, a few weeks ago. She was actually scheduled to be the WL for coming Sunday's service upstairs, songs already selected by her. So, the songs will remain, will be led by yoyo.

"We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salver."

Martha

Putting down some excerpts & editions about the Martha/Mary thing.

Perhaps you have felt the same way. You've known the Lord your whole life, and yet you haven't found the peace and fulfillment you've always longed for. So you've stepped up the pace, hoping that in offering more service, somehow you will merit more love and respect. You volunteer for everything: you sing in the choir, you teach Sunday school, you took care of a group of teenagers, you visit the nursing home weekly. And yet you find yourself staring into the night and wondering if this is all there is.

Or perhaps you've withdrawn from service. You've gone the route I've described above and, frankly, you've had it. You've stopped volunteering, stopped saying yes. No one calls anymore. No one asks anymore. You're out of the loop and glad for it. And yet the peace and quiet holds no peace and quiet. The stillness hasn't led to the closer walk with God you've hoped for, just a sense of resentment. Your heart feels leaden and cold. You go to church; you go through the motions of worship, then leave and go home the same. And at night, sometimes you wonder, "What is the good news? Can someone tell me? I can't remember."

Or maybe you are somewhere caught or inter-woven in between. You've been here and done that, but there is this shadow of a dream, or a state of life and mind that feels like it is almost within your grasp but never attainable. You see somebody going to someone else, something got tied or messed up, somewhere you should be.

"What is the good news? Can someone tell me? I can't remember."

The good news is woven through the New Testament in a grace-filled strand that shine especially bright in the Gospel stories of Mary and Martha. The message is this: Salvation isn't about what I do; it's about what Jesus did.

The Cross did more than pay for my sins; it set me free from the bondage of the "shoulds" and "if onlys" and "what might have beens." And Jesus' words to Martha are the words he wants to speak to your heart and mine: "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed."

The "one thing" is not found in doing more.

It's found by sitting at his feet.

Catch that: Mary sat at his feet. She didn't move a muscle. She listened. She didn't come up with clever responses or a doctrinal thesis. Her gift was availability. (In the end, I believe that was Martha's gift as well.)

The only requirement for a deeper friendship with God is showing up with a heart open and ready to receive. Jesus said: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls". (Matt 11:28-29)

Jesus invites us to come and rest, to spend time with him in this incredible Living Room Intimacy. Intimacy that allows us to hear our Father's voice and discern our Father's will. Intimacy that so fills us with his love and his nature that it spills out to our dry, thirsty world in Kitchen Service.

In the Living Room. That's where it all begins. Down at his feet.

---

Warning signs of a Martha overload. Five unrealistic expectations that can contribute to servant burnout, can you see yourself in the following false beliefs?

1. There should not be any limits to what I can do.

2. I have the capacity to help everyone.

3. I am the only person available to help.

4. I must never make a mistake.

5. I have the ability to change another person.

---

Five strategies for fighting discouragement:

1. Allow for rest stops (naps, sleep a little earlier)

2. Get a new point of view (take a few steps back and ask God to help you see his perspective in your situation)

3. Have patience (easy to get discouraged when things don't go as planned. But if you've committed your concerns to the Lord, you can be sure he is at work, even when you don't see his hand) Rom 8:28

4. Mingle. (discouragement feeds off isolation, get out of your house, visit some friends. It's amazing how good ol' fellowship can lift our spirits & chase away the blues.)

5. Set the timer. (ok, so things aren't so good, I've found it helpful to set the oven timer and allow ten mins for a good cry. But when the buzzer sounds, I blow my nose, wipe my eyes, and surrender my situation to the Lord so I can move on)

and this video for all my friends who 'love' miley, haha. cut the cheesy moves, it's a good song really.

matter of perspective

So the journey continues. There's always the need to study a little bit more each day. And after visiting Mount E a few times, Orchard Road feels different now.

Once used to be the most happening place, and then became a place I travel by everyday, noticing the daily construction progress of Ion Orchard & Orchard Central. And eventually became nothingness but a facade. And now became just like any place but i prefer JB home.

They say cancer could change a person, didn't know it could change the people around them too.

On a separate matter, went to friend's mom dept in the same hospital, watch a very little infant sleeping in a special containment unit, with a tube stuck near his nose. So little, so fragile. You could almost hold his torso in your palm. yet still living and breathing, what a wonder to me.

I saw another covered containment, empty, i remember my parents told me how i had difficulty breathing when i was an infant, almost died sometimes.. wow, God, you have seen me before i was born, right till now, till my future, all my steps are ordained by you. When I see the little infant lying there, I get a glimpse of how much you love me.

Now i'm big and strong. erm, not that big and not that strong. normal la, ha.

Wish I could be a better person sometimes. But thank God for who I am, with peace.

Today is the day. =)

joy =)

when we cry

I sort of started to see things differently lately after what happened to my big sis. At first life seems to lose its meaning, and then it takes on a whole new meaning. Used to worry abt work, studies, ministry.. Now i've been thinking about life as a whole, as a morning fog, as a gift & abandonment unto God in every area of enjoyment, mundanity and struggles.

I remember the morning when I cried in pre-service, and how God's comfort comes like a friend. Ever prayed and felt God coming so real to u that ur heart will undeniably know he is right beside you? ... real comfort can come from His presence, His word, His promises.

There's this hope and strength that can drive you on, and it goes beyond human limitations. By this one God who exists, whom we can't see but believe in. He loves us. He knows us by name. We are His image and His likeness is shown in us.

And so this fire fuels the fierce, unrelenting passion in loving people and living life without regrets.

..

close friend had cancer..

..

less is more, more is more. ha

gonna move my PC to sis' place in Dover tomorrow night. so i will be using PC much less for the rest of the year, maybe.

i'll miss a lot of things.. but it's ok anyway. just blabber my heart out to God.

I wonder if one day God appears in my dream and take me for a ride in heaven, show me my room (hope that its awesome). and the food there..

or we can just sit on the edge of a cliff overlooking the beautiful sunset sinking into the sea down its endless skies, and talk forever while munching on some good stuffs like japanese octopus balls with choco and sushi handrolls, or american fat sandwich with bubble tea.

or going to a theme park together . screaming and laughing out loud while going through the thrills and scary darkness in the tunnel, coming out frightened but went in again anyway.

or we can go watch a good, long, sappy romantic comedy movie together, wearing real thick and warm while the aircon is so cold but not having the urge to go to the toilet. oh ya, not forgeting the hot melting caramel popcorns, nachos with dip and icy coke.

or we can watch a dvd at home in the living room in winter, beside the fireplace with mashmellows and some good books lying around with a large muffy carpet lying underneath.

ir we can simply soar into the sky, over the leaning tower, 12 apostles, my house, everybody else's houses (ha), chase dogs, pick apples from the tallest tree, fooling around a giraffe's head, scare passerbys (haha). eventually sitting on someone's roof, watching stars flicker and fly. and drift off into another dream.

or we can form a band, he plays the bass or guitar or a whole symphony, while i play the drums, the awesome coolest drums. In an open hall full of people, or none. he will have his limelight, i will try to have mine. we crash and be crazy, throw off our instruments, jump into a pool nearby and
dive into another world of fishes and corals.

or we can just play computer games.

ha. "what la"

God..
there's something about you that is so much, so much more which i don't know about.

Let my dreams run real wild with you. Let my thoughts run with you, let my heart be set on you.

randomness

went home as usual today, bypass orchard road, a car stopped by the red traffic light. A posh, big, 4WD. The lady inside looks familiar. I was standing right beside the car.

oh, it's Fann Wong.

gf

lately some people are sort of asking me or hinting me that it's time to find someone.
my best friend's getting married very soon anyway, in less than a year's time.

people who read this might want to comment something, so, let the comments come ba..

just wanna declare aloud that if u see me with girls/ladies, most likely they are my big sisters. it's nice sometimes cos i don't have a biological big sis and my big super bro is not around. my close friends gave me a lot of wise advice, genuine concern and superb reading materials. but of course my parents & own little sis are still the best. so i'm a lucky guy, ha.

anyway, tired.. want to sleep..

thank you God for today, for teaching me how to live in peace..

good friday's coming soon, yay, public holiday.

nite.

my heart & eyes r a little heavier today, but my God abounds in strength and grace.

Jesmond is leaving next week

This guy ar, last min wan wor. Coming weekend is his last weekend in church liao, then he'll be studying in KL - civil engineering. Same college as his brother.

Today after work suddenly one sms -

"hey bro, juz wanna inform u tat i'll b going off next week 2 kl to further my studies.... gOnna miss u a lot man :-) "


what the!!??!

Whack him when u see him yar! =P


Time flies, i have known him for years... since form 1, i think. There's something about him, quiet faithfulness in serving, something rare among the youth nowadays. I have seen how his drum skills improve, strong groove.

wow, now he's going. so fast. he used to run, but now i believe he will soar from here onwards.
He will start to lead, like how he used to gun in the above picture, ha, joking.

He will lead one day. =)

4 gifts

Lord I pray, grant me these 4 precious gifts, whether by hardship or brokenness, that I may move on this year and be light for you.

Wisdom, diligence, perseverence and gumption.

Victoria Ho

Left office at 5.45pm today, wonderful isn't it =P (for myself only, i guess)
It felt like I had a day off, I can let my hair down for once. It felt like something sprung into life.
Took the initiative to help pass a letter to KPMG, and KPMG closes at 6pm, so there goes, hehe.

Went for a walk thru the places, the nasi lemak stall, christian book shop, browsing thru books, and then my favourite trail, the long walk from raffles place, thru the bridge, asian civiliation museum, the park, and to esplanade's top, library... It seems so different now.

Sat at the stairs at the edge of the stage extended down to the river, watch the unseen sunset's light reflecting against the millions of waves, the towers changing colours. Thinking of everything, and then thinking of nothing.

Suddenly the esplanade staff stuff me a brochure. Then came 7.30pm, the sound started. It's ladies night, a lone woman sat alone on the stage with a guitar and she sings. Late twenties or early thirties, Victoria Ho sings. People gathered around. With a voice similar to Corrinne May's, she sings Michael Buble's "Home".

And then i went home.

Daddy.. daddy.... bloood..

and its not funny.

The oval office

President John F. Kennedy claps as his four-year-old daughter Caroline and son John F. Kennedy Jr. dance in the Oval Office of the White House in October 1962.

I heard about this picture from a New Life Church sermon. What happened in October 1962? JFK informed the world that the Soviet Union was building secret missile bases in Cuba, a mere 90 miles off the shores of Florida. Discussions and serious stuffs..

The oval office, the office of ultimate power, decisions made that can change the world. Top leaders have to make special appointments to meet in the office, commoners find it a lifetime experience to step into the office. The history, the moments. The legend.

and see the two little children dancing away while the most influential & powerful man in the world is clapping away.. =)

----------

I wonder.. God of creation, the ruler & owner of the heavens & earth. Even when the nations are all before Him, they are nothing compared to Him, regarded as worthless & less than nothing to Him (Isa 40:17). God who structures every multiplication of amoebas and the formation of proteins & DNAs, forms billions of human features uniquely and names every planet & stars that are formed by the millions everyday. Architect of the rise & fall of civilization, directs every artistic vision and philosophic wisdom.

Yet He chose us.

"Come dance in my oval office", you might hear Him say from a distance. Enter my joy, my holy of holies.

Flawed and ignorant as I am, yet it's like instinct. As He claps, you know it is the rhythm, more than building taller sand castles, sweets and lollies, chasing after pretty butterflies, dreaming for the next big thing.

.. =)

I know my father. Run to Him.

This is gonna be my best year

Teach me, to go for the extra half-stroke everyday =)

Janjimu Sperti Fajar - Edward Chen

ketika ku hadapi kehidupan ini
jalan mana yg harus kupilih
ku tahu ku tak mampu
ku tahu ku tak sanggup
hanya kau Tuhan tempat jawabanku

ku pun tahu ku tak pernah sendiri
selama engkau Allah yg menggendongku
tanganmu membelaiku
cintamu memuaskanku
kau mengangkatku ke tempat yg tinggi

reff:
janjimu seperti fajar pagi hari
dan tiada pernah terlambat bersinar
cintamu seperti sungai yg mengalir
dan ku tahu betapa dalam kasihmu

Never weary

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 18:18

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Go

Don't sulk, work harder, push through, extra mile, study more. Potential hints more. Clay needs to be molded. Character must go through fire.


When on the brink of complete discouragement, success is discerning that... the line between failure and success is so fine that often a single extra effort is all that is needed to bring victory out of defeat.

-Elbert Green Hubbard

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Dal­lan For­gaill (translated from the Irish by
Ma­ry E. Byrne, Versified by El­ea­nor H. Hull)

be thou my vision - corrine mae

Be Thou My Vision - Late Night Ministries

Be Thou My Vision - Richard Cole

>15

...

P.s.23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Psalm 23 - DaQuela Payne

>13

>14

For those who are still studying, pleeeeeeease treasure the time in school/college and after lectures when you can afford to think about what to do next in your free time or have time to have a hobby, watch a 30-min show, see the sun, feel some natural wind, be bored, write blogs, worry about the future, thinking about boys/girls, not getting genuinely humiliating scolding, actually get nagging from parents, have time to see your parents, talk to your siblings, friends, go to the cinema, eat sonething and feel contented, can choose not to do homework, thinking that time is just too slow, have no responsibilities besides those that relate directly to yourself, able to sit in a car and not driving, have someone to fetch u everywhere without feeling guilty.

And please do your best and enjoy every bit of it, if not then let the world punish u severely in not doing so. haha.

Another view on marriage/covenants

Saw this while reading "our daily bread". Interesting, last time only knew the verse in new testament about not yoking to each other etc.

I wonder how God views marriage, must be very different from mine. Ergo, i need to remember to read more of His views (words). ha.

Covenants, gosh, i don't remember all of the covenants He promised me. How am i gonna live like this?! As if i need to push thru on my own, be positive and pray for His grace only.... gotha read more bible.


Malachi 2:10-16

Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another?
Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob —even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty.
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

<12 bliss

1st time in the last 1.5 forever weeks, I knock off at 8pm, spent less than 12 hours in office today!!!!! woo hoo!!!!!! gonna swim a little more, bath n sleep early!!! =)



Finally Free
- Nicole Nordeman

No chain is strong enough
No choice is wrong enough
No mountain high enough that He
can't climb

No shadow dark enough
No night is black enough
No road is lost enough that He can't find

And if the Son has set us free
Then we must be, free indeed
Let the chains fall away, starting today
Everything has changed
I'm finally free

No pain is deep enough
No heart could bleed enough
Nothing but Jesus' love can make a way

And if the Son has set us free
Then we must be, free indeed
Let the chains fall away, starting today
Everything has changed
I'm finally free

Ps 42:7-8

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

CDs wanted + vin's tag

somebody let me know if these two CDs are for sale in m'sia/s'pore.. =(


Vin's TAG

1. Vincent is a boy
2. He seems to have prolonging deep thoughts when u don't talk to him
3. Plays the guitar nicely
4. Takes time to get to know him
5. Able to speak his mind with ppl he is comfortable with
6. Can crap a bit, sometimes quite fun
7. Is a nice boy, i think
8. I dunno him that well
..
9. Can eat, like me! =P
10. Knows a lot about music, bible and guitars.


1. I am victor
2. I am half-boy, ha. half-man half-blur in office.
3. Plays the drums nicely
4. Hopes to have more time.
5. Able to speak his mind with ppl I am comfortable with
6. Can crap a bit, sometimes quite fun
7. Has a lot of things in my mind
8. Casual pants all brown colour
9. Loves a bit of poetry, lots of beach and sunsets and instrumental soundtracks
10. Wants to rest.

24th Bday (yr 2009)

Time passed so fast during these times, I am really thankful and touched by all the friends. The wonderful dinner at a japanese noodles restaurant at causeway point on wednesday night - great saba fish, fun games, great chat and perfect polo-T.

Friday's flooding of very meaningful sms-es, emails, friendster & facebook wishes from young ones, friends and uncle-aunties.

the friday night surprise at my house by TnT CG - bringing 3 donuts with candles, hiding behind a car on the street outside my house (lol), emerging in the dark with those candles lighting up my tired soul after a hard day's work, superb mee siam, fun time browsing thru childhood photos, eating on the living room floor.. and my dear sis' cheese cake =)

saturday morning's breakfast by my parents, tips on marinating meat, sis for accompanying me to the wet market to go walk around be blur and wonder what else to buy =P walking the wet wet alleys, looking at fishes, visited the lone pork stall, listened to uncle talked about earning money in US selling pork.

sunday afternoon baking lesson by a good friend, and the rest of the evening with most of my close friends there, about 10 ppl, preparing an all-chinese dinner, cooking together. Made a little mess out of the kitchen, cooked 2 chickens and 1.5 kg of pork, big soup and other veges, just there being together with everybody, passing the sauces, listen to cooking tips & lessons, some frying, some surprise gifts. tons and tons of talking, laughing, tasting food, experimenting, suan-ing each other, crapping, super-super fun. watched them play chua dai di with super big (palm-sized) disney poker cards, haha. Eventually, sitting around the crowded round table having sweet sour pork, ABC soup, black-sauce pork, kai lan, cai xin, herbal chicken, choco brownie with fudge sauce and vanilla ice-cream. Good food =) =)

When i thought nothing can beat what happened on my 23rd Bday, this year, after yesterday, i could die a happy boy. ha =P

My only regret is no photos, i guess i won't be able to visualise exactly how good the food looks, and the bowls of rice with traditional chopsticks & spoon around the table. But i remember the smiles and conversations going around, just like a happy family, cooking together, eating home-cooked food together. Oh ya, and also the unusual way of wrapping of gifts from australia, ha. Everything was beautiful, unforgettable. =)

Thank God, thank you. =)

To be with you all together, is my biggest, best birthday gift.


Looking at past Bday posts, i am being reminded to be very thankful for my family and the bunch of friends who have stepped into my life and make it absolutely beautiful.
2008
2007

I am truly blessed.

Tulips

I’ve decided to keep my poem & night devotion book in office, then I can read a poem a day n do the night devotion during OT, smart.. =P

realized that I spent too much time in office, really need to enjoy while i’m here.

Today’s poem is really beautiful… =)

Tulips

May our failed hopes rise like tulips

Out of the cold ground,

And, when we look around,

There our satin bowls are, chocolates,

And swaying, velvety clarets, aglow

With memories of help we thought would

Appear and beliefs we watered.

And we do have something to show,

goblet-like reminders of our stubborn

labors – or we don’t, and refuse

odorless flowers and choose

to live without consolation.

Mark Halperin

First published in River Styx, issue 61, 2001

dream.

God is our protector

It's been a discouraging day, I'm home finally, but i still need to work..

Thank God for songs like this...

Song's title is "God is our protector"

My protector, defender of the weak, my shade,
sun in the day, moon at night,
cover me in my going in and coming out,
..


I shall rest in the shadow of your wings.

This is you

Read fast, real, fast. like the wind,
Like an analyst through a baby book,
Make quick your time through endless fixes of free sentences.

Alright, you've made it, through
to the next paragraph,
the second level of understanding,
to the third level of misgiving.

Look at me,
I worry about the next hour,
the next time, a mindless schedule and a mindful shortage of ___ .

This is it, this is you, this is me, this all.
A stranger always in the deepest brightest valley,
Borrow me a marvel camcorder and we will
record widespread emptiness in limited editions and free spaces.

We cry, we die.
Yearned for completion.
Consumed by hidden hunger, blinded by numbed thirst.

Ignore the sunshine, see through the faces,
walk in streets as a passerby in waiting to arrive.



We never will arrive.


What constitutes happiness, what pursuits we live by,
strength for another day, pat for comfort,
blessings we like.

Sleep and wonder,
Learn and finish the last unending obstacle,
Travel and swell by-and-by.

May our empty-ness
empty us
May our suffering and bingeing pale us
May our losses and achievements cheat us
not.

But help me,
awaken and recognise my innate desire,
To know you
more.



and more.

(teach us how to live)

The walk after wedding (2)

"A swan, or swans, Vicky."

Yes, I know. The moment when I see her stretching out her stubborn head into my world, my world collapsed, disappeared. Nothing else matters anymore, she is perfect. 6 pounds 19 inches and a loud weeping voice - Victoria. Somehow over the years, Vicky became an easier name to call out, holler across the room, demand an explanation, pamper and coo for a surprise in waiting.

--

Without hesitation, she takes off those newly bought shoes and hands it to me (as always). Without words, Vicky sits on the edge, slowly dipping her toes in the cool summer's lake; knowing well that my arms are around her waist to prevent her from falling over, (and from growing up too fast).

I anticipate the lake, as the sun like a well-spent charcoal, setting ashore and shimmering, passing its glory to the waters below.


She watches the swans.

They are just swimming, but I imagine their heads touching each other and with slender necks, forming a love-shaped postcard picture.


"Daddy, stop writing. See, look there! Love-shaped swans!!"

"Wow, do you know what it means?"

"That they love each other?"

"You bet", I smiled.


Hugging her tightly from behind, my heart aches deeply, wishing that Kathy was here to hug her, to see our girl in her flowing dress, looking once again at the miracle of our first date.

-end-