Joke

"How do you discern God's will?"

"Oh, Lord. People have suggested all kinds of methods to me."

"Like what?"

"When I was in high school, my uncle told me that whenever he needed to know God's will, he opened the Bible at random, read the first verse that met his eyes, then did whatever it told him."

"So you tried it?"

"Don't laugh. At first it seemed to work. One time I asked God whether I should go out with this really pretty girl named Melissa. When I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Proverbs 6:25, 'Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.' So I asked, 'Then whoshould I go out with?' This time when I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Isaiah 55:12, 'You shall go out with joy.' So I asked out Joy."

"You shouldn't have asked me not to laugh. What opened your eyes?"

"Two things. First, Joy said no."

"What was the other?"

"Well," said Mark, "one day I happened to ask that same uncle why he'd taken up cigarettes. He said 'God told me to smoke.' First he'd opened the Bible at random and read the 1 Corinthians 6:19, 'Do you not know that your body is a temple ... ?' Then he'd opened it again and read Revelations 15:8, 'The temple was filled with smoke.'"