Sunday, April 30, 2017


The silence of the heart rest its soul in the wind that blows through the corridors of the house. It sees the silhouette of a dried dead baby breath against the tired sun. How long will it shine till its tired again, how long will the shadow cast till its sunset. If I lower my eyes can I raise it to heaven, if I look away will it miss my presence.

The wind flows through the breath of my baby in silence by the spinning fan. It feels the age of the dying cot in fresh paint against the softness of her cloth. How long can she shine before its radiance is tired again, how long will her sigh last till its quiet again. When she awakes will she see heaven in us, if I stumble will she forgive my humanness.

Does the silence speaks, and turns to rest. In its slight opened eyes does it see the silhouette of the ever-present comfort.

 Breathe, selah. And find strength to rise.

Monday, December 08, 2014


The silence in the cold dark
So much like a rustle in the heart
Its whisper vague flows
Fading like twinkles
Ponder a wrinkle backwards
Its rain drops on wetland and heart

Tell me a story
Of starry nights and future lights
Being in one sky in Henderson's park
The heaven in fulfilling
Redemption's blood

A December sea

A December sea after the great hurricane
Remnants of waves brought by and crashed
Smaller and persistent towards each other
Never ending turmoil and thunder

I was and still on the little
Floating hereby and wonder
In all fear in nature's hails of laughter
I see you

Walking on the unending upheaval
Standing its ground on violent waters
Like a ghost in my fearful sorrows
But your light showed its glorious wonder

Speak and approach the little
Stilling winter and caress baby waters
I step out in the rumbling giant
Feeling your hand steering through mists
And piercing through the engulfing darkness. 

Sunday, November 16, 2014


I just watched the movie "interstellar" with my fiance, it's this movie about astronauts finding new planets suitable for humans due to the earth will soon become inhabitable. There's one part of the movie where the main character gets sucked into the black hole and went into the 5th dimension where he is able to vaguely try to communicate to his daughter on earth in the past to pass a message that could save mankind. HAHA sounds far-fetched but it's a great deep long movie.

I got me thinking about time, how we were made to live in this non-stoppable treadmill which can only move forward, how our human minds can fathom and differentiate the past & present, and what are memories. Have you ever wondered that God has given us the gift of a brilliant mind that can specifically chronologically remember things and how a day goes, it would be havoc if our minds somehow can't put things in order and we would confuse when & what has happened, or remember them.

It is mind-blowing for me to think that God controls time. He sees the beginning and end of it, and all that is between. All the little humans, their joys and troubles, and they pass away and their souls transcend into His dimension of eternity. There's no real conclusion to this thought. just a mind wandering about the perception of time and also feet back to the ground to me in this small world of the daily people I meet, the people I love, my fiance, my family, colleagues and the work and the expectations and the life to live.

Why do I post the video above, cos it reminds me who I need most, that even when my time is up, I will always remember the God I know since my childhood, is an intimate & loving God.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Words words words through the years

It has been too long since I've written anything. It's gonna be midnight soon and I will be in bed. Just a quick few minutes browsing through my old blog posts and find a strange familiarity with the writings, strange because somehow it felt forgotten.

Thank God that I have grown so much over the years. It's true that unless you keep a journal, you won't realise how much you've grown, or appreciate the journey looking back, enjoying the present & anticipating the near future. 

It's 2014, too soon. Many things in mind, wedding preparation for next year, getting the house renovated, finish studies, try to do better at work. 

Church's worship workshop by Larry Sebastian just ended a few days ago, had a great time worshiping & drawing close to God to hear Him again. His voice, I'm glad, that there's no strange familiarity. It's always the same. 

Ok it is past midnight, and I shall write again. Before I grow too old, and before I lose.. or I should say - shall write again to ever maintain this sincerity, or hopefully some innocence of heart.

Thank you God, for this blessed journey.
Thank you, for time. 

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

The Calvinist - John Piper

See him on his knees,
Hear his constant pleas:
Heart of ev’ry aim:
“Hallowed be Your name.”
See him in the Word,
Helpless, cool, unstirred,
Heaping on the pyre
Heed until the fire.
See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
See him in the square,
Kept from subtle snare:
Unrelenting sleuth
On the scent of truth.
See him on the street,
Seeking to entreat,
Meek and treasuring:
“Do you know my King?”
See him in dispute,
Firm and resolute,
Driven by the fame
Of his Father’s name.
See him at his trade.
Done. The plan is made.
Men will have his skills,
If the Father wills.
See him at his meal,
Praying now to feel
Thanks and, be it graced,
God in ev’ry taste.
See him with his child:
Has he ever smiled
Such a smile before,
Playing on the floor?
See him with his wife,
Parable for life:
In this sacred scene
She is heaven’s queen.
See him stray. He groans.
“One is true,” he owns.
“What is left to me?
See him in lament
“Should I now repent?”
“Yes. And then proclaim:
All is for my fame.”
See him worshipping.
Watch the sinner sing,
Spared the burning flood
Only by the blood.
See him on the shore:
“Whence this ocean store?”
“From your God above,
Thimbleful of love.”
See him now asleep.
Watch the helpless reap,
But no credit take,
Just as when awake.
See him nearing death.
Listen to his breath,
Through the ebbing pain:
Final whisper: “Gain!”

Friday, August 30, 2013

Man & marriage

"Man was meant to be a bold creative artist who plunges into the unformed mystery of life and shapes it to a greater vision of beauty. At the Fall he became a cowardly, violent protector of nothing more than himself. Intimacy and openness were replaced by hiding and hatred. Marriage is the relationship where depravity is best exposed and where our dignity is best lived out."

-Dan Allender & Trempler Longman

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The linen dance

"Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets. 

As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart. 

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!” 

David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord ’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” 

And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death." 

(2 Samuel 6:14-16, 20-23 NIV)


It was a joyous celebration again, after a fatal incident when Uzzah tried to save the ark from falling to ground, the ark was placed in Obed-Edom, David was angry & afraid of God, and in the 3 months God blessed Obed-Edom, till David was convinced and finally brought it back to the City of David.

And he danced with such celebration by wearing the ephod, a simple piece of vest-like clothing usually wore by the priest over their robes. A powerful king stooped down, wearing a symbol of ministry & servanthood, half-naked, dancing with the crowds. He could be leaping from side to side following the rhythms of the trumpets, or to the shouts & cheers from the crowd. The boy who probably once danced & sang to the Lord alone in the wilderness/pastures with the flock is now expressing himself fully with the people.

How many times have I despised those who seem to be so weird at worship during service. The ones whose hands never stop trembling, the extremely jubilant, the avid dancer, the super concentrated, and the clubbing moves.

God never delights just in my style of worship, or just my style of reverence to Him. If He would mind, probably we will have a dispute in heaven someday, and segregate into zones of varying level of preferences.

But He delights in the praises that comes from a pure heart, whether coming from singing reserved to the choir on stage, or the hipsters that turn the pulpit into a dance floor.