just came back from danga bay yamaha (monday night), two new students, learned fast, happy. they happy me happy.
life sure passed so fast after my exams, it's a busy schedule and lately it's starting to slow down (yay heh). to catch more sleep, clear the black eye rings, see some sunsets, write some stuffs..
i wonder if i have two personalities, mainly one in normal life and another one in teaching drums.
i see myself walking around chatting non-stop loud n cheerfully during last night's drum seminar, being open and bright n cheery with the young kids, make them laugh n adore me. speaking in a higher, clearer voice. do cute stuffs and draw the attention of my listeners. being the person that i wished to be.
the dream me.
and when the drum seminar ends, they helped me put back the drum set, went home. and i stayed back to clean the white board with alcohol-soaked toilet paper, slowly; under the yellow-orange glow stage spotlight, with my favourite sentimental soundtrack playing in the background. while the pretty drum student (a few yrs younger than me) waits for me to clear up the place so that she can lock the church doors.
i thanked her and reminded her to revise the drum materials learned on that day, and left. went to the faithful motorcycle, loaded in heavy stuffs, and rode back home, in 30 minutes of sad road lights & drizzle.
leaving behind a fake dream that once is all of me.
thinking back at that time, what happened a few hours ago in the afternoon, in jusco. the hype & exhaustion, the lesson of trust & humility in Christ. the beauty of unity, and the wonderful personalities. i told God that i'm amazed at his planning and uniqueness, smiling in my heart seeing the people, church people, being the way they are, always will be.
and i see myself walking out of doubt, confusion.. more into confidence and purpose, dropping the depressed knife, holding jagged heart nearer to the old cross.
And welcoming July.
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