Music of my life

After all that i went through in the last 2 yrs of my 1st job, the tears & joy, it will finally come an end soon. I remember the most hectic days where even the photocopier is not fast enough to keep up with your pace, coming back to office on a sunday night just to do filing; working with my senior, manager, the client - accountant and financial controller until 10pm in Tuas to discuss the figures, going back to own office to continue work until 2am; slogging for weeks straight and finale with work until 4am and continuing at 8.30am on the following day... laughing happily n crazily with my colleague on a friday 10.30pm because we can go home early... All the insults, scoldings and stress involved with different seniors, managers, accountants, finance managers, financial controllers, directors, working with people, working alone, contacting overseas people, south africans, koreans, americans, french, australians, taiwanese, india, hong kong nationals..... went to indonesia alone, discovering discrepancies and seeing the reaction of the australian directors and worries of the indo staff.... all the hilarious antics with colleagues, crazy hours.. all the korean n japanese food....

What an adventurous ride in 2 yrs..

Quitting job by 30 July, going off for missions for probably a month, first time in my life get a laptop for myself, find new job again, finish up my studies.. Taking care of myself more...

Looking forward to some rest to counter some mental & emotional burnout, taking time to pray n seek the Lord, a weekend at tioman to meet the beach & sea, find more time to enjoy meals with close friends, hanging out with family at home, taking care of people with real needs.. Live a life again, gain new perspective, breathe some fresh air, learn to smile again.... .. to smile.. sigh, to smile..

Remembered a word from God when I was at Melbourne's great ocean road's 12 apostles early last year, as the waves crash against the beautiful statues on the sea - that He is molding me for a beautiful path, and I would not fall even as the waves continually come.

To never, ever give up.



Finally I have found a song to describe my life till now.. =)

..

Psalm 42:11

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Prov 23:23

Buy the truth and do not sell it;
get wisdom, discipline and understanding.

Gifts for 2010

Lord I pray for this 3 things for 2010:

Love, wisdom & discipline

i was struck

If i can serve others as if i were serving Jesus, I am delivered from any feelings of nobility in what i do. It is one thing to lift some drunk out of the gutter, take him home, shower him and put him into my bed. In such a case i might view myself as a wonderful person who did something worthy of praise. On the other hand, if when i look into the eyes of that drunk, i think of ministering to Jesus Himself, I am only left inquiring of myself, "Am I worthy?"

To recognise the image of our God in even the most socially despised of creatures is to become a humble servant of these people.

~Anthony Campolo

heart

It's a good time, after coming back from work, after the 5 days of inhumane hours n work stress. at home alone, 30mins before i go for cell group, bathed, with some good music... to try to write abt how the heart felt.. knowing now that ppl rarely read blogs, even better.. smiles :)

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It is cold out the night, I wore my favourite sweater walking through the quiet paths straight home, imagining as it was like olden days where children will wave to me from the side as you pass by, and a big golden sun stretching out its arms across the white picket fence before laying down a day's purpose to continue dreaming.

Like a kid 20 years ago in autumn, remember the stacks of leaves? =) remember how we used to swim through it, get ourselves the dirty, comfy little adventures we experience and believe.

yeh eh, how old am i? Or how young i went by or left? did i just lived today, pretend to, or died?

I close my eyes
and all I dream is nothing
I am 70, I am 25, I am 40. I am running, falling, wading, dragging, flying?

God I am 25 & 30. I am all I can be with nothing. You fill my empty, available cup, ba.

Like a painter whose mind may be set on a moving pattern, I am 25.
Like a trustee who knows who guarantees his future, I am 30, need not be 18.

Who is like you who creates the ever-expanding galaxies and take times to fill up my insecurities intricately?

Crisscross our hearts with your gentle, everlasting love. open its corner to flow out to the next heart. Calm our stormy souls, one word and be still. Buckle us with righteousness, like a seatbelt save us from our careless undertakings.

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ok, what a wandering mind, go lie down a while n go cell group/

Victor

God is speaking in solitude, asking what is my name. And for a man of failures, it is a difficult name to swallow. To learn to view from the Father's perspective, and based on His immeasurable love, rise up.


Victor \Vic"tor\, n. [L. victor, fr. vincere, victum, to vanquish, to conquer. See Vanquish.]

1. The winner in a contest; one who gets the better of another in any struggle; esp., one who defeats an enemy in battle; a vanquisher; a conqueror; -- often followed by at, rarely by of. [1913 Webster]

In love, the victors from the vanquished fly; They fly that wound, and they pursue that die. --Waller. [1913 Webster]

2. A destroyer. [R. & Poetic] [1913 Webster]

There, victor of his health, of fortune, friends, And fame, this lord of useless thousands ends. --Pope. [1913 Webster]

Source: The Collaborative International Dictionary of English v.0.48

Attached

I'm attached, I have found the love of my life. =)

Before the morning... [must see]

another day @ work

another day @ work. watched a MTV after dinner before continuing, this is how the desktop looks like....

long long hours

had been working for quite intense & long hrs lately as an auditor. at first thought my audit peak period will last for maybe 2-3 months, later realised that it might last for 5-6 months..

sunday worked till 3am, monday worked till 4am. had a nice sleep last night 9.30pm-5am. today have to continue the challenge.

pray that i can persevere thru this.
=)

if u hav some spare time

facebook memories

a long day at work, my eyes felt like it'll pop out soon n i'm having headache for days..
anyway, went to facebook n a friend posted all the photos of years ago, bring me a lot of nostalgia.. =)

it's wonderful to see how God leads us thru the days & years, to grow to another phase of life and to grow more like Him.

k la, gotha sleep... tomorrow is another long day again..

Strength in weakness

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2010/02/27/devotion.aspx

Hmm, not for the quest to greatness but follow Christ's exemplary life of being a servant. =)

sometimes very influenced by the workplace's demanding workload to be strong n hide your weaknesses, but my senior really shown me how to be strong in weakness, even in dealing with high-ranking clients.

It's a Monday, another week to start off with all my heart & strength, with God's grace =)

YouTube interactive video. =)

Letters to God (movie trailer)

titus' wedding

It's been quite some time since i blogged. Had been caught in the whirlwind of auditing peak period, travelling back and forth from Tuas to my office in city area, working real late for 3-4 weeks straight, taking cab, pull thru late nights, fell sick 4 times without taking medical leave and recovered. But it's been great, learned a lot, had more perseverance and determination in my work and life.

Then it's Titus & Jaelyn's wedding. =)
i'll narrate from the wedding driver's perspective ba..


1 part - The morning

It feels different to be the first to arrive at the groom's house, and the only one that is so well-"dressed", in a suit.. saying hi to titus' uncles and aunties, pai seh pai seh, eat the very sedap mee siam, and talking to his cousins from m'sia, sg & france (i forgot exactly how they were related).

eventually the brothers arrived, titus' uni hall mates & JC friends, very happening & humourous ppl (imagine another 2 Alans there). when time's up, fill up the bridal car's boot with lots of stuff, put some drinks in the car, insert key n press a button to start the engine, and roar.

titus, his bro (david) and I looked at another, "ok, let's go", and then there goes the 1st ride on the most important day of his life. I'm not sure how they felt, but it seems that in the silence, there hangs a thick air of nervousness.

will continue writing more soon..

grandma

taken from my uncle's FB, this is my grandma.

a better tuesday

i'm lying on my bed with laptop propped up against my bended legs, sitting on my stomach. it's 10pm and i want to sleep soon, today's a better tues cos get to go home early on a working peak period. random thoughts.

had a nice chat with the taxi driver on the way to a company far off from my office. he complained abt his son who's 27 and still hanging around with playful friends and spending every dime of his pay on entertainment. also talked abt his view on all religions are the same, being a Buddhist but also helped to fetch old ppl to every sunday church service. I didn't tell him abt the truth that lingers on my mind... should tell.. don't just try to understand & please ppl only... sian

had an ok but tiring day at work though no OT. dinner @ Wendy's. new fastfood @ lau pa sat. so full now. may get fatter. slim plan failing, no good, not healthy. lethargic. mom nag. ha.

my colleagues are fun n responsible, hard to find.

it's weird but started developing interest in economics. Interesting to learn to be the final user of financial information and dream about creating wealth for missions.

warren buffet & zig ziglar, new books for reading. book worm lately. need to prioritize TAWG n read more God's word instead.

doing the will of God vs Quest for self-fulfillment.

Common misconception abt money: Ownership vs Stewardship

Need to be more diligent and do the things that should be done, now.

A better tuesday. sky darkens, wind caresses the leafs to sway and sleep

man

Had a really tiring weekend, understood that I can't shoulder some tasks alone, if not I will fall sick / burn out soon. Need to learn to delegate, encourage & raise up others =)

Going to sleep now at nearly 10pm, cos simply very tired, read about a passage from a book that light up my eyes, so i'm whipping out my laptop to type this before going back to read & sleep =P :


Elisabeth Elliot, a woman I deeply respect, wrote to her nephew Pete, "The world cries for men who are strong - strong in conviction, strong to lead, to stand, to suffer. I pray that you will be that kind of man - glad that God made you a man, glad to shoulder the burden of manliness in a time when to do so will often bring contempt.

I want to be that kind of man. I have a long way to go. I fail more often than I succeed. I let my sin, my fear, and my laziness get the best of me. But i want to change. I know that God has made me a man for a reason. No matter what culture says, or even what some women say, I want to gladly 'shoulder the burden of manliness'.


I guess the best example to be a man is by looking at the life of Jesus while he was on earth, gentle like a dove, wise as a serpent, rebuke when necessary, forgive freely, enjoy life in busyness, speak at the right time, lead by example, give out of compassion, suffer for the right cause, take care of family even in lowest point of life.

It's good to remind myself, else I live day by day merely to get by.



Best friend getting married soon, someone's gotha be the driver =P