nobody sees

Now for the Not-yet

Now for the Not-Yet

by Rachel Starr Thomson

I read a profound thing the other night — in a Charlie Brown cartoon, which is no surprise since I'm always reading profound things in the comics. Charlie Brown comes to Lucy's psychiatric booth to declare that he is depressed. Lucy takes him up on a hill, shows him the vast horizon, and begins to ply him with questions. Does he see all that room for living? Has he ever seen any other worlds? As far as he knows, are there any other worlds for him to live in? Her final question: "You were born to live in this world ... right?" "Right," he answers — and Lucy hits him with the punch line. "WELL, LIVE IN IT THEN!" Those are inspiring words. They really are. As a philosophical day-dreamer with a tendency to fatalistic attitudes, I relate very well to Charlie Brown. The idea that here I am, placed in this world for the express purpose of living in it, is almost revolutionary to me. That is, it was almost revolutionary to me. Sometime in the last 10 years, during the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood, it started to sink in that God wants me to live. To live fully. To live well. And to live not only for a distant future in a heaven that is still far away — that is, the ultimate Not-Yet — but to live in the Now, to live on this earth in the best way I can, recognizing every day as a gift from God. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. I wish days to be as centuries, loaded and fragrant." I am here, in the only world that has currently been given to me, and I'm doing my best to live in it. But it's not as easy as it sounds. The apostle Paul described life as a race, as a wrestling match, and also as a battle: He recognized that living, really living as God wants us to, is hard work. We fight sin within us, evil around us, and "spiritual wickedness in high places." On top of all of that, we fight our own flesh. What do I mean by that? I mean that if we want to really live our days, loaded and fragrant, with purpose and holy joy, we need to fight our inborn laziness, our tendency to forget, our knack for centering on trivial, unsatisfying things, and our propensity to dig ruts and sit in them. I teach writing, so my years are naturally divided into three distinct seasons: Fall Semester, Spring Semester, and Summer. The breaks in the year afford me a perfect time to reexamine my life. Every four months, I take a hard look at the paths I'm walking. I look especially hard at my habits, for they are the real direction of my life, no matter how many grand pronouncements I may make. Management consultant Peter F. Drucker says, "Long-term planning does not deal with future decisions, but with the future of present decisions." In other words, what am I doing now? So. Here I am, at the brink of a new semester. It is time again to take stock of my life, to measure the worthiness of my goals, to see if I'm actually moving toward them, and to decide whether changes must be made. This every-four-month system is a good one, because it keeps my ruts from getting too deep before I see the need to leap out of them. In examining life, I want to measure the quality of the Now, but I also want to keep the Not-Yet firmly in mind. Am I living well today? And is the way I'm living actually going to lead to a good, God-honoring future — not just here, but in eternity? First off, there's my spiritual life. When I examine this, I have to remember that spiritual life is neither really predictable nor actually controllable, because any realspiritual life is a relationship — and the other Half of the relationship rarely conforms to my small-minded expectations. That said, as the small half of this relationship, there are things I can do to keep it healthy. Foremost among these is prayer. For many years I've had the nagging feeling that my prayer life was lacking. I prayed a lot, usually sporadically throughout the day, but I was always scattered and unfocused. I'd say "I'll pray for you," knowing that I'd probably forget to do so. Over this past summer, though, I made a change in my prayer life that has been revolutionary. I started scheduling prayer times. Short ones, just five, 10, or 15 minutes, five to seven times a day. I got the idea from aBoundless article, actually: Jim Tonkowich's "Hour by Hour: It's Always Time to Pray." I have already seen incredible fruit from this new habit in the Now, and I know it will bear more in the Not-Yet. This habit stays, and I'm making a renewed commitment to doing it diligently. Mental life is another area to keep an eye on. Are you familiar with the verse that says, "Teach us to number our days"? I always figured it ended with something like this: "So that we may make a difference in this world." Actually, the whole verse says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom" (Ps. 90:12). This is about spiritual life; it's also about our mental lives. I've realized that I need to attend to mine in a serious way. I try to spend at least half an hour every morning reading my Bible with an open notebook and study references handy. I really want to tackle the meat of scripture, to wrestle with it, to ask questions and seek out answers, to learn how God sees the world and how I'm supposed to respond to that. I want to learn to think biblically. This isn't just for the Now — it's imperative for the Not-Yet. What I learn now, at this stage in my life where I'm able to invest time in study, forms my decision-making processes, my thought patterns, and my mental capabilities for the future. You can see why this is hard work! Reexamining my life on a regular basis means that I refuse to allow my flesh the upper hand. I don't want to let attitudes, bad habits, or forgetfulness prevent me from really living. Of course, I mess up in all these areas just as fast as I articulate what I want in them. But that doesn't ultimately matter. As long as I get back up, I'll stay on the right paths. Many other aspects of life bear examination. Work. Health. Recreation. Am I doing what God has called me to do? Am I doing it diligently, smartly, with joy? Are my current health habits going to help me in the Not-Yet, or are they more likely to land me with lifelong problems I don't want? Do I spend my recreation time actually re-creating — doing things that build me up — or am I frittering it away with activities I don't much care for? How about finances? Am I giving? Could I give more? Are my spending and savings in a healthy balance? Was all that Starbucks really necessary — a real blessing, or just a bad habit of letting money run out of my pocket every time I smell a latte? Then there are relationships: the heart and blood of life. "Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not," instructs Proverbs 27:10. There's something tragic about a life lived in pursuit of personal growth, goals, and passions, while the people who make life worth living are overlooked. In every season, I want to love my family, my friends, and my God wholeheartedly. Relationships matter for the Not-Yet, too. Not only does maintaining relationships now ensure that those people will still be there in the future, but it also changes me. Relationships shape us more than anything else. In the future, I want to be loving, loyal, diligent, and Christ-like toward others. That will never happen if I neglect the Now. I wish life to be not cheap, but sacred. God has given us life: God wants us to live it. Christians do not need to live defeatist, fate-driven, circumstance-directed lives. We can make decisions and choices that will shape our lives for the glory of God. I wish you the best as you reexamine the paths your feet are on. May they lead you through days that are fragrant, that are loaded, that present themselves to you each day as gifts from a glorious God.

Copyright 2008 Rachel Starr Thomson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on Boundless.org on September 24, 2008.

Yoke

It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.

-Lamentations 3:27

When i stand before You...

I'm not sure if u ever felt this way before, but once in a long while.. I really missed home. It's a longing felt deep within your heart, somehow knowing that you belong to eternity, knowing that one day you will meet your heavenly Father, the one whom you only heard but one day shall see face to face. There will be no more tears, it will be an ultimate dream come true, there will a big reunion, when everything comes together.

I long to see my Father, I can't wait to run into His arms, He knows who I really am, loves me with an everlasting love. All my hope is in You. Your beauty is indescribable. My heart aches for eternity.

i will sleep tonight hoping to dream of meeting You..

Endless Hallelujah

When I stand before Your throne
Dressed in glory not my own
What a joy I'll sing of on that day
No more tears or broken dreams
Forgotten is the minor key
Everything as it was meant to be

[Chorus]
And we will worship, worship
Forever in Your presence we will sing
We will worship, worship You
And endless hallelujah to the King

I will see You as You are
Love You with unsinning heart
And see how much You paid to bring me home
Not till then, Lord, shall I know
Not till then, how much I owe
Everything I am before Your throne

[Chorus]
And we will worship, worship
Forever in Your presence we will sing
We will worship, worship You
And endless hallelujah to the King

No more tears, no more shame
No more sin and sorrow ever known again
No more fears, no more pain
We will see You face to face
See You face to face

[Chorus x2]
And we will worship, worship
Forever in Your presence we will sing
We will worship, worship You
And endless hallelujah to the King

And endless hallelujah to the King
We'll sing
And endless hallelujah to the King

Labour not in vain

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Cor 15:58

finally a real blog entry

I woke up to the faintest sound of rain in early morning. It's 26 Aug 2011, a Friday. (goodness i have the Friday song's chorus singing crazily in my head for a min there)

Sent a cell group email at 6.30am, listening to The Holiday OST, wondering what i'm going to do for the rest of the day.. (besides cleaning up my room, buy pork to marinate, hit the gym, cook lunch, cook dinner for cell group, wash & vacuum the cars, mop the floor, etc.) Oh ya! have to prepare bible quiz questions and P&W songs for CG..

Changed music to The Notebook OST, more suited as the drizzling picks up in the darkened sky slowly lit up. Parents woke, breakfast with them, toast the bread and spread with margarine (i should have bought butter) and kaya.

It's near 7.30am. Went buying pork..

..

Now it's nearly 9am, pork marinated, hope it'll be good, it's been a while since I last cooked.

Listening to 梁文音's album~

I have things running in my mind which i know i should be doing now but i'm stuck with this blog entry. It's almost 11am, the pork is well marinating~ salmon's defrosting.

Yesterday was my last working day for the leading palm oil manufacturer in the world, 1.5 weeks later I'll be joining the world's leading energy project management,engineering & construction company. Nothing much to say except that it'll be another challenging & rewarding (hopefully) journey. Coincidentally as i was writing their HR called to confirm if i'm joining, ha.

It seems tougher than expected to prepare the CG bible quiz questions on the book of Ephesians.. study bible.. But it's a good book, a balance of doctrine and practical living.

..

McD is not interested to hire me during my 1.5 week break, maybe they think I can't handle kitchen cleaning work and motorbike delivery, but I can!! i think.. heh heh heh.

Life goes on.. There are many unspoken wishes and unfulfilled dreams, but God is faithful and true. He knows what I'm going through, He guides me in every step. Today is another day of thanksgiving to Him, celebrating the many gifts: the gift of life, gift of job, gift of love, gift of sight, gift of providence, gift of health, gift of hope, gift of salvation...

What are the 5 Levels of Leadership?

By John C Maxwell

In less than two months, my new book, The 5 Levels of Leadership, comes out! Last week I shared an excerpt that explained why I wrote the book. Today, I’d love to give you a quick overview and description of Level 1.

In the book, each level is explained in its own section, where you’ll learn the upside of the level, the downside, the best behaviors for that level, the beliefs that help a leader move up to the next level, and how the level relates to the Laws of Leadership.

Let’s talk briefly about Level 1: Position. This is the lowest level of leadership—the entry level. The only influence a positional leader has is that which comes with the job title. People follow because they have to. Positional leadership is based on the rights granted by the position and title. Nothing is wrong with having a leadership position. Everything is wrong with using position to get people to follow. Position is a poor substitute for influence.

People who make it only to Level 1 may be bosses, but they are never leaders. They have subordinates, not team members. They rely on rules, regulations, policies, and organization charts to control their people. Their people will only follow them within the stated boundaries of their authority. And their people will usually do only what is required of them. When positional leaders ask for extra effort or time, they rarely get it.

Positional leaders usually have difficulty working with volunteers, younger people, and the highly educated. Why? Because positional leaders have no influence, and these types of people tend to be more independent.

Position is the only level that does not require ability and effort to achieve. Anyone can be appointed to a position. This means that position is a fine starting point, but every leader should aspire to grow beyond Level 1.

Change

going to post a real blog entry soon by end of this month. going to change company soon, to a european co. all these years have been working for the chinese, soon, will be working for the french.

Hope of All Hearts

The world may fade
You will remain
In the midst of the trial
You will always be, I'll sing
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be, I'll sing
Our God never fails
Our God never fails


Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing
There will be singing
Upon injustice we will tell of our God


The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts Is you
Your love never fails
Your love never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be all the same
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing
There will be singing
Upon injustice we will tell of our god

The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts Is you
Your love never fails
Your love never fails


In darkness,
In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Blessings

I am amazed at the blessings of God ba.. how He led me step by step, lately can see clearly in my career path. It's so different compared to how I thought it would be when I left college, only better.

Only can be grateful and thankful, and continue to be diligent, always ask for wisdom, and acknowledge His guidance in every step.

In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the Lord establishes their steps.

~Prov 16:9

Leading difficult people

Disorganized Debbie

http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2011/06/28/leading-difficult-people-disorganized-debbie/

Excited Eddie

http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2011/06/22/leading-difficult-people-excited-eddie/

Slumped Susan

http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2011/06/13/leading-difficult-people-slumped-susan/

Fearful Fred

http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2011/06/06/leading-difficult-people-fearful-fred/

Critical Carl

http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2011/07/11/leading-difficult-people-critical-carl/

Be Thou My Vision (english translation)

This is my favourite hymn :)

From wiki, Be Thou My Vision originated from an old Irish poem in the 6th century (about 15 centuries ago), translated into English by Mary E. Bryne in 1905. And in 1912, it was versified by Eleanor H. Hull. The current lyrics in old english that we sang now is the versified text. Below is the translated version before versification, I hope it encourages you as much as it has encouraged me :)

Be thou my vision O Lord of my heart

None other is aught but the King of the seven heavens.

Be thou my meditation by day and night.

May it be thou that I behold even in my sleep.

Be thou my speech, be thou my understanding.

Be thou with me, be I with thee

Be thou my father, be I thy son.

Mayst thou be mine, may I be thine.

Be thou my battle-shield, be thou my sword.

Be thou my dignity, be thou my delight.

Be thou my shelter, be thou my stronghold.

Mayst thou raise me up to the company of the angels.

Be thou every good to my body and soul.

Be thou my kingdom in heaven and on earth.

Be thou solely chief love of my heart.

Let there be none other, O high King of Heaven.

Till I am able to pass into thy hands,

My treasure, my beloved through the greatness of thy love

Be thou alone my noble and wondrous estate.

I seek not men nor lifeless wealth.

Be thou the constant guardian of every possession and every life.

For our corrupt desires are dead at the mere sight of thee.

Thy love in my soul and in my heart --

Grant this to me, O King of the seven heavens.

O King of the seven heavens grant me this --

Thy love to be in my heart and in my soul.

With the King of all, with him after victory won by piety,

May I be in the kingdom of heaven O brightness of the son.

Beloved Father, hear, hear my lamentations.

Timely is the cry of woe of this miserable wretch.

O heart of my heart, whatever befall me,

O ruler of all, be thou my vision.

needed, much needed

diligence, perseverance & focus

手的預言

風箏飛，葉落下，
拳頭的世界如此大。

線纏繞，樹長大，
手掌留住了風，
握不住一粒沙。

我的左手是貓，右手是撫慰的力量。
你讓我輕輕的合掌，喚來舊時光。
閉上眼，就地捲起海浪，奔向紙月亮，
追逐一頭大雨中的狼。

蝴蝶飛，浪退潮。
手打開，
不害怕匱乏。

Perfectly Paralyzed by Procrastination

I've never thought of myself as a perfectionist. One would only have to peer into my office to understand why.

My office has the appearance of chaos, confusion and disorder. "Appearance" is the operative word. I find the chaos to be completely functional. I rely on my own, unique organizational theory: It's better occasionally to waste time searching for items than regularly to waste time keeping the place tidy with everything meticulously filed.

I know what you're thinking. My mother didn't agree with my theory either.

I admit that I struggle with procrastination. But me, a perfectionist? Hardly. A perfectionist is someone who does everything perfectly. I only think about doing things perfectly.

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to hear what Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church in Southern California, had to say on this subject. A procrastinator, says Warren, is nothing more than a frustrated perfectionist.

A perfectionist is convinced she must prove her worth by being perfect. A perfectionist craves approval. Warren contends it's the fear of not being able to perform perfectly that leads to procrastination. And procrastination eventually leads to paralysis.

There are times I can stare into my computer screen for hours on end without completing a single sentence. Even though I have a clear-cut subject, a semi-brilliant conclusion and a general idea of how I plan to get there, until I perfect my first paragraph, I'm paralyzed.

Have you ever felt paralyzed by your procrastination? Perhaps perfectionism is at the root of the problem.

Perfectionism can keep us from moving forward, but it doesn't have to be that way. There are antidotes for perfectionism.

1. Believe that no one is perfect. You will liberate yourself when you lower your expectations from perfect to realistic. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. You don't have to be perfect to be happy.

2. Let go and let God handle things. It takes a lot of faith to let go of those things over which we have no control.

3. Learn contentment. Life must be lived in less than perfect circumstances. Accept that. Love the moment, and enjoy the journey. Dump the pressure that says you must be perfect to be accepted.

It's time to break out of your prison of perfectionism. Identify what you need to do and take the first step. Even if you fall flat on your face, you will have gained at least five feet. Then take the second step, and the third. Before you know it, you will be making terrific progress. Not perfection, but progress!

September 12, 2010

©Copyright 2010 Mary Hunt.

Leftovers of Johor Bahru

A thought came to my mind after working in JB for a while and could this happen in the future?

It seems that the 2nd generation christians are getting more educated and affluent. Especially those who went overseas & SG to study, most of us went to SG to work, having in mind that one day we would settle down in JB when we have earned enough, or when the SG government bond has ended. But so far I observed that none of us have really bought into our initial plan, eventually we decided to build a nest in SG for the sake of a continuing career and education of children in SG. And we raise SG kids, thinking that probably they will be like us, still treating JB as a home and coming back to JB every weekend, or not.

Over time, our parents will pass on, leaving their houses for us to stay in JB for the weekend, our children will grow up in SG but i'm not sure whether they still fancy the idea of coming back to JB in the weekends when their friends and activities are all in SG. So the older generation has passed on, there won't be any need to come to JB anymore, family and friends will be based in SG.

Nothing wrong with that, it's personal choice & family planning.

Just wondering if our fathers has passed on this value to us, that JB is merely a leftover, do study and work hard so that we don't have to be in JB. You only remain in JB when there are no opportunities outside or to maintain family business. JB is only for getting by. Of course there are special prayer days in church and revival meetings to desire for a change in the society, but we are sending our children off elsewhere because JB is not good enough. Really. There's something wrong in the education system, so we send our children to private/home schools or to SG. The society, politics, safety & education will not improve much, just thank God it doesn't get worse. JB is simply not worth it, has the passing remark became a core belief unknowingly. The older generation will slowly fade away, the excellent young bloods will be encouraged or even expected to be in overseas, just wondering what will be the future of JB & its churches in the next 30 years.. Will it very silently evolved to be the subtle leftover city?

mercies in disguise

What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...

For good =)

For Good

(Elphaba) I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda) I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda) Because I knew you

(Both) I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

(Glinda) But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda) Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba) Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both) Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda) And because I knew you...

(Elphaba) Because I knew you...

(Both) Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

Not now

"If you ever have any free time and you're wondering, "What in the world am I going to do now?" don't go to my blog. Have extended devotions, or read some good book on our Savior, or serve your family. And once you've done that, come and visit my blog."

-Quoted from an article

I can't deny that I am not as disciplined as I wish to be. I don't know why it's so hard to do the things that matter FIRST before secondary priorities. I have tasted the bitterness of procrastination and I want tonight to be the last of my old disease, God help me.

Exam on the 10th & 14th of June. And besides this, so many books to be read, relationships to maintain, devotion to commit. These postings in front of the 18.5" screen is only a tiny fraction of a beautiful picture when I get down on my knees and stand on my feet.

Nelson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

Your grace is enough..

Your grace is enough..

Joke

"How do you discern God's will?"

"Oh, Lord. People have suggested all kinds of methods to me."

"Like what?"

"When I was in high school, my uncle told me that whenever he needed to know God's will, he opened the Bible at random, read the first verse that met his eyes, then did whatever it told him."

"So you tried it?"

"Don't laugh. At first it seemed to work. One time I asked God whether I should go out with this really pretty girl named Melissa. When I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Proverbs 6:25, 'Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.' So I asked, 'Then whoshould I go out with?' This time when I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Isaiah 55:12, 'You shall go out with joy.' So I asked out Joy."

"You shouldn't have asked me not to laugh. What opened your eyes?"

"Two things. First, Joy said no."

"What was the other?"

"Well," said Mark, "one day I happened to ask that same uncle why he'd taken up cigarettes. He said 'God told me to smoke.' First he'd opened the Bible at random and read the 1 Corinthians 6:19, 'Do you not know that your body is a temple ... ?' Then he'd opened it again and read Revelations 15:8, 'The temple was filled with smoke.'"

Five Things Every Adult Should Know

Came across this article that talks about adulthood and references to the book Adam’s Return by Richard Rohr in a talk he gave called "Five Things Every Adult Should Know." Rohr's list of five promises that define true adulthood is what he says gives a person the ability to live in the world as a grown up.

The promises include:

1. Life is hard.
2. You are not that important.
3. Your life is not about you.
4. You’re not in control.
5. You’re going to die.

And.. which of these promises are the hardest for you to digest?

If only it were as easy as drums

If only life's issues were as easy as understanding the complexity of drums.. wishful thinking~

Inner Bloom

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

- 1 Cor 13:11

Are you like me, at times feeling like an adolescent stuck in a maturing body. Or have you ever felt like years have passed but you are still the same old, or same young. I used to think and believe that as soon as adulthood steps in, nature's magical wand would swing its magic, and we would grow up to be mature adults who can face the world, brace its tide, and take care of ourselves well enough to extend to others. I was wrong.

I could get caught on the other side of the cloud only, getting more work experience, expanding the working & social capacity, manage work & people so well, having a good laugh on the familiar side of successful people; and upon reaching middle age, came crashing down. The tide of world seems to favour external growth towards the stars, but God may be whispering, the inside counts. Go deeper.

"When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me"

Not an act of nature or by-product of time & environment only, but a verb: "put behind me". Place aside the childish self-serving thoughts & idealisms. Stop whining, don't extend adolescence & excuses. Rise up above culture, not about being Mr Sensitive or Mr Man, but looking towards Jesus as the primary model, where true fulfillment comes in the form of godliness.

Yet not giant leaps, but simple little steps everyday; sowing seeds of patience, diligence, wisdom, kindness, love, sacrifice; surrendering & allowing God to mold us, we find ourselves becoming man - man of God.

New look

maybe for me, it takes a 13-yr old blind boy to teach me how to appreciate what i have in life..

For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. ²⁵ Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. ²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Eze 36:24-27

26 summers

While posting this song, thought that would be good to write some stuffs before i go to bed. today is a pretty juiced-up day, because this other dept tai-chi with each other when i ask for reports. so stressful & get called in to the GM's office again to help provide info.

and after the long day at nearly 8pm, went to church for counseling course. i will always appreciate the vast difference from work environment. hee.. sis lydia plyed the video of a tv real-time counseling of this internet-addicted teens with his mom, the girlfriend etc.. it's so interesting and the twists are better than most soaps, happy ending by the way. how nice if i can be a counselor for a change rather than punching numbers in my head everyday, but then, important to do what God has given me.. to be a good number-crunching, problem-solving, effective managing person.. still a long way to go especially in managing situations & inheriting the knack for solving case-by-case problems that arises. and still learning to face problems without pulling my hair out, and not thinking of all problems at the same time and have a mental meltdown.

it is well. oh ya... it isz well..

I am 26 this year. And I found a "26" song for myself! =D

song not found in youtube though, enjoy the lyrics =)

Twenty Six Summers

by Vicky Beeching

I don’t know what the future holds
or what lies beyond my horizon
the years ahead are just out of sight
well, i think sometimes that You hide them
so that i’ll walk by faith not sight
so i’ll take Your hand, holding tight

through twenty-six summers
and twenty-six winters
i’ve laughed in the springtime
i’ve cried in the rain
though i’ve questioned the meaning
of some of life’s seasons
it’s true that they’ve left me holding on
tighter to You

my one desire for the road ahead
is that we would walk it together
Friend and King, You’re my everything
may i stay by Your side forever
for when my heart’s afraid, You’re near
whispering to my soul, ‘don’t fear’

and i will trust in You alone
for You’re the hand leading me home
leading me home..

i’ve spent twenty-six summers
and twenty-six winters with You
through all of the seasons
and my search for reasons
You’ve carried me through
i will keep holding on to You…”

buying things for myself, for the 1st time in 2011

Yesterday (sat) was quite tiring, slept 3 hrs after long chat with sis & have to wake up - to show up for work. After work I decided that this day would be an exception, I will buy things for myself, for the 1st time this year.

I realised I never buy things for myself; new clothes come from Birthday gifts (no new clothes during CNY), hypermarket - to pick up groceries & hang thoughts (yeah, like hanging clothes, in a way); my old clothes, as long as they weren't qualified to be floor mat, would be my favourite suit. My room - bro's SPM chair, rusty table from nowhere. My Samsonite work bag, given by ex-company's associate director, not as a gift but leftover. My favourite sling bag's (my only sling bag also) "metal holder" just broke last night too, after about 4-5 yrs use, i think.

Funnily, i'm not thrifty & i'm far from looking for gifts. Just that i don't find it remotely amazing to get many new stuff, or to look good. I just get what I need

, and yesterday i needed an exception.

So I went to Jusco Tebrau, got myself 3 good books and a deco 'flower pail' (for the office desk), and the urge to make an exception stopped.

First book

2nd book

the flower pail..

3rd book..

Hope i smell the roses more..

and that's how it will look if my blog is viewed in "mosaic"

still, not.

the sea is blue, the greens are green. stay still? not, says the world that surrounds. they urge, be fast, be proud and very efficient. for?

looming questions, i find myself asking- or would it be, whither go you?

whether it is.. withering in the wide path or blooming in the narrow streets, if i am lucky to see the difference.

there's no hard & fast I thought so. Slow I am to your response, demand. Understands me not. And left is, mighty arm upholding the withering in the hopeless heights. the, always. can you see, he asks. still, not. i am, am i not, or else. A flower? No, my dear. The flower.

new look for web browser, happy~

A long forgotten Bday wish

That you will always be well. No longer are the breath of a thousand wishes, the quick tear, and the long goodbye.

For the hands of the everlasting are faithful for all of our hearts..

Trust, and lean not on my own understanding.


*And as a sign of this milestone, i'll change this old user pic.. no longer have to hope to run away..



and please do..

Priorities

Lord, help me focus on my weekday priorities...

1. TAWG
2. Family
3. Studies
4. Work
5. Relationships

And fulfill my grandmother's wish someday soon, hopefully before she passes on..



For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

~Colossians 1:9-12

失明前我想记得的四十七件事

Tree

But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

~ Jer 17:7-8

Ordinary

Everybody doing their part for the world..

It's all about you

Raison d’être..

A different tomorrow

I hope to be different starting tomorrow. Give thanks more, think more about the noble things rather than sulk at the darker side. Remind myself of who He is & what He has promised. Life is too short to cringe my face at the lemons, rather, be making lemonade.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night; waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

失敗者的飛翔

累了.. 1st time work until chest pain..