About driving & a funeral

Came back from a funeral n finished watching "Dreamgirls" on DVD..


My good friend's grandmother passed away this morning n there's the wake at night. It was extraordinary, every soul who attended can feel the love, peace n comfort, and even joy.. ... .. =]

and when it's over the group of TnT people gathered around tables, eating up mee siam with chicken curry, bread with curry, mineral water, red bean soup, peanuts..
talking, even laughing, savouring every minute of fellowshipping with one other..


and it is, beautiful.



i often wondered about how people like desmond, yan, sin loong, grace n many others radiate that warmth as they speak. makes you feel like a part of home when there's care n no fear of hiding or masquerading.
so many years of knowing different friends in the passage of time, n they still amaze me, simply wonderful in their own way. =)


i start to have a little more understanding in a small part of the bible (forgot which part liao, heh) that says something like this, about humans..

"how marvelous are your (God's) works.. i am fearfully & wonderfully made."


wow.


about driving, the funeral chairman or speaker, can't remember which one.. talks a bit about driving.
what drives you when you're living your life.
about being a billionaire when it's not about money but full of Love.
it really kept me reflecting on my life.. what drives me..

is it love? or the lack of love, or money, attention, routines, significance, survival?..

If i live my life being driven by love, love for God, family, friends.. wouldn't that be great, and without regrets..


hehe, sooo lovey-dovey.

anyway, i found out that City Square has a new floor of cinemas, need to walk up the stairs to 7th floor.

tired, nite.

For the broken-hearted

to the broken-hearted..

so that's it, with clear reason and silent steps you walk away. and the sunset darken my eyes as i closed, n feel the waves of time quickly washing away your footprints in sands of love.

gone is forever, it seems, i fail to catch your shadow. could i, sorry.

it is night.
never would i thought conquer,
an empty body with wandering thoughts n no soul.
drinking death n speaking pain for comfort,
i exist without living, but feeding my memory of past in the summer of love.

it is winter.


would i ever dream of beautiful snowflakes again, when it stings too much of bitterness. when i sink deeper trying to stand.
crying and falling in cliffs, finding myself awake in a dream.


in my last breath, would you see me, save me, dad..
let me feel everlasting and faithfulness, in trust.

and draw my heart ever closer to you,
in love.

1lifecrashdiff

Ever been in a situation where someone just walks up to you and talks about his or her capability to read your mind? well, i think it's what i'm feeling now, but not really in this way.


My friend emailed me to talk about stuffs, saying that he reads my blog, and it's always inspirational, a true motivation to many, and i'm the dude that many admires, with the interesting sense of humour.. tonight after i came back from work, bro's cell group at home, after that another friend said that she noticed that i blog late at night, n only until just now (sorry) i realised that some people leave comments in my blog..

wow, it's kind of.... scary.
i didn't know tht friendster blogs are so "readable" by others.
oh oh, even my ministry leader is in my friendster friends' list. how ler..
(i normally write my blog entries in friendster, then copy & paste over here at blogspot)


thanks for all the nice things you all have written, i'm.. er.. truly surprised.
cos i still feel like an invisible man, but it's great if you like to read n be encouraged by it.. i feel very 'pai seh' now..


ok, condition myself back to the state that i think that not so many people will read my stuffs..


MY STUFFs.. haha, like small kid.

...

..because of this surprise today, i think i don't have anything to say for now.
oh yeah, if the 'musical sitcom' would continue its episode, i would say that the new, pretty piano teacher is hired but she never works on the same day as me. heh heh, too bad, now the admin staffs have one less reason to tease me. =P

I find this article interesting if you are those type of people that make new yr resolutions, or want to know where you are in this life.. Nah, for you..
And goodnight, sweet dreams =)

Step 1: Review where you’ve come from.

• As you think back over the last 12 months, where have you strengthened your footing or gained new ground?
• What new discoveries have you made?
• How have you changed as a result of these successes?
• As you look back over the past year, where have you failed to advance, or even lost ground?
• What obstacles have held you back?
• How have you typically explained this struggle to yourself? What have you told yourself about it?
• What’s been really really good about this past year?
• What do you wish you could change about this past year?

Step 2: Look at where you are.

• Now that you’ve looked back over the journey you’ve taken over this past year, where would you say you are now?
• As you look at where you are in life today, what are you proud of?
• What are you most disappointed about?
• Where are you hiding?
• How would you describe the current condition of your heart—as it is right now?
• What’s the deep truth about your life as it is today?

Step 3: Refine the course ahead.

• Where do you want your life to go in 2007? What would you love to see happen?
• What do you want the “theme” of your life to be in 2007?
• What struggle or obstacle would you love to finally overcome?
• What new territory needs to be explored?
• What are the things you must do in 2007 to move your life forward in the direction of your deepest heart desires?
• Based on what you’ve explored so far, what specific goals will you set for yourself in 2007?
• How will you ensure that you don’t lose sight of your goals, or lose your way in the coming year?
• How will you know when your goal is achieved?
• How will you celebrate when you reach your desired destination?

Look back. Check your bearings. Set the course ahead. It’s a simple practice, really. But sometimes it’s simple things like this that make all the difference in helping us define who are becoming and maximize the quality and impact of our lives in the world.

musical sitcom

If there is this tv comedy about young adults working in a music school, i'll probably want to watch it.

maybe add characters like quirky students, funny students, interesting students, music geniuses, annoying/complaining parents, and maybe more specifically:

-An admin staff that is a bit "teh-ful", simple, super chatty and has a BF that comes every night to fetch her.
-A handsome admin staff that is serious, focused, all-business guy. sometimes tend to loosen up a bit but gets back to his serious form a little too quickly.
-A beautiful organ teacher that looks so so cool playing the organ, but seldom chats with other people except admin staffs n her student's parent.
-Another pretty piano teacher that is quite chatty n friendly, wears very nice clothes, always plays solitaire using staff's PC.
- A female guitar teacher that hardly smiles but is actually happily living out her dream of being involved in a music career.
- A new male guitar teacher with fair complexion and a gentleman, who fell from his motorbike a couple of days ago but recovering fast, real passionate about music.
- A new drum teacher that looks quiet n nerdy but can play drums well n is slowly getting used to the music school and started to tell cold jokes to disturb the admin staffs, ha.


so, tonight's episode is about the new drum teacher's 5.30pm class to guide two students on what/how to perform for the upcoming student concert.
The male guitar student has very long hair, a bit shy; the female drum student is fairly boyish with short hair.
i can never imagine such a odd combination being played out in reality.
And one of my drum student's sister came over to talk about getting a job here, another pretty piano teacher. the admin staffs kept talking about her beauty n started to kacau me.. oh man...

anyway, i'm glad that God put me here, to let me interact with people, lift up my spirits.. i'm thankful for the conversations i had with them, about picking up after broken dreams, future plannings, problem solving, caring for each other.


nice.. =)
ok, let's see what will happen in the next episode..

Mr Ting

He has this straight smile, puppet type, that is funny in a cheeky way.

Pastor Ting, hee..

TOnight's david warrior camp was ok, he talked about serving God with joy, which applied to me a lot as i tend to get jaded n discouraged after serving for a while. He helped to put things back into the correct perspective..

It's amazing that humans are not so much affected by circumstances but through perspectives, how we see things in our own way..

I always hoped that i can see the bigger picture in life, the wider view on how the jigsaw puzzle fits..

now listening to lincoln brewster's Let The Praises Ring 2006..

it's really different, listening to christian worship songs compared to listening progressive rock/jazz/fusion/mainstream music this morning... probably the awesome-ness of connecting with your maker n best friend.

i really wonder the day i die or when Christ comes, when each of us will stand before him personally n give an account, and the reality of him becomes so real, the God of universe, the God who created every single individual with their unique personalities.. the same big God that hears my every thought, that listens to me playing drums every weekend, the same God n friend that hears my cry in a dark corner. The God that walks with me everytime i stroll in a fading beach when salty winds blow against my lone shadow.

i will be standing before him, face to face. maybe having a conversation..

And he is real.

i'll just hug him n cry..


k la, little kid is tired. tomorrow gotha go church at 8am, now 2am.. sweet dreams..

Karen Kong Kong

Karen Kong, as you see, one of the very popular friendster users, is a pretty girl with very good voice! she just released her 1st album, it's a malay album anyway, ha.. go listen through u-tube, nice voice man..

there are 3 type of voices that i really like, the karen kong type, the ginny owens type, and another sultry voice that i heard during last yr's xmas drama - background music.. nice, i would love to hear voices like this being performed 'live', my ears would melt..

anyway. just came back from part-time job..
tonight's last student is a 6 yr old malay boy, very cute n chubby, VERY cute n chubby.. sometimes he cannot catch what i teach, need to repeat 4 times, dunno why.. then feel like pinching his cheeks, haha!

today i tasted the best "luo han guo" in my life, it's from a street stall in kulai.. shared it with yamaha staffs that are around my age.. real good drink shared with friends, very nice...

i just feel a little elated now, maybe cos of the lack of college life, people that i meet slightly more often are my "regular" friends, n i always welcome small talks, unless if i'm too too busy..

opps, bro's cell group just ended, gotha go hav SAPPER.


cheers to food, boo to my smiling stomach, seems that the smile is wider now.

Beautiful

It's been an 'ok' night after jazzing in the dimly-lighted, cold but well-equipped jamming studio; and alternating to white flo lights when my students arrived..

sometimes when feelings n past memories bottled up inside, it's best for me when you happen to work part-time in a music school along the beach.. when the sun sets n you work your fingers against the cymbals n drums, reflected beautifully with sentimental lights..

and after that short moment of emotions pouring over without words, i was being reminded by this short 'speech' by Ginny Owens before she presents this song before a live crowd, in her album..

and i'll feel ok.. =)




" i think we all know what it is to have this longing that we can't get away from, to be known n to be loved n to be understood, by even just one person in the world; to be accepted as we are, even with all our flaws n faults. But one of the things that i'm learning, in my wise old age of, erm.. , twenty something, is that there's probably not anybody on this planet that can love us the way that we desire being loved.. and uh, there's probably not anybody that can meet all of our expectations, n not anybody who's expectations we can meet. erm.. so it's kinda been for me over the past couple of years, a searching time of finding out what does it mean to believe that God my maker is also, God who loves me unconditionally, n pursues me daily, n runs after me in spite of what i do.

So, erm.. , i wrote this little song to remind myself of the fact that it doesn't matter if i'm accepted unconditionally by the people around me; what matters is that the one who created me, the one who knows me best, knows all of my darknesses, my flaws.. that one, is the one who loves me most, n there's nothing i can do to make that love go away.. " -Ginny Owens


Title: Call Me Beautiful (by Ginny Owens)

I've been waiting,
For a hero who's brave and strong.
Someone to love me,
Someone to tell me I belong.
So I pretend I'm satisfied,
And I stand watching on the sidelines.
Til You pull me into the light
And say, "It's your turn now, welcome to your life!"

And You call me beautiful,
Say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul.
You call me beautiful.

There's a smile on my face,
And a brand new light in my eyes,
It's a new day,
And I've never felt so alive,
I feel as if I could conquer anything,
That's what Your love has done for me,
And now all I want to be,
Is everything You want me to be-

Oh, You call me beautiful,
Say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys
To unlock my soul, but I didn't know-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed.
Things will be much different,
Now that I know You call me beautiful.

Bridge:
The story is better than I could dream after all,
Now this is reality
To know You to hear You call me beautiful.
Call me beautiful.

Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed.
Things will be much different,
Now that I know, now that I know You call me beautiful.




About her, my favourite christian artiste...

Ginny Owens is a Contemporary Christian music singer/songwriter. She was born in Jackson, Mississippi, and has been totally blind since the age of two. When she graduated from Belmont University with a degree in Music Education, she found that most people were skeptical about hiring a blind music teacher. Instead she concentrated in singing and songwriting and began making CDs, and has been producing them since 1999 with Rocketown Records, a label under Michael W. Smith. Her music has been featured on television shows, such as Roswell and Felicity. Ginny has also received three Dove awards, including New Artist of the Year. In January 2005, Ginny Owens started a non-profit organization called the Fingerprint Initiative. The organization has worked in conjunction with other groups, such as Compassion International, The International Justice Mission, and Habitat for Humanity. Recently, Ginny Owens was featured on CNN to talk about the organization and their efforts to help rebuild New Orleans, following Hurricane Katrina.


www.ginnyowens.com