When everything..

Today, came back from work, my eyes fading after a week's worth of computer screen-watching putting it all in a day, dragging my feet here n there, went for a swim, today.. had no heart to study.. also had no motivation to think of drums, music, tax, accounts, except a little messy and casual poetry, inspired by Josh Groban's "my heart was home again"... the past few weekends, and days, getting more and more jaded. I guess besides JB home, i missed being home again, where i used to come to God just like that ("snap fingers")... maybe later i'll spend some time doing just that....



When everything comes back,
like water back to snow in streams flowing,
right to falling autumn with its leaves dropping,
joy and tears, across from its heart,
to its heart yearning.

i remember everything, akin to every window pane's memory,
it's vision of dream-like sunsets, wishful cleaning and fear of breaking,
every word and life came back to me the way it used to be,
from a Christmas betrayed to night beach star-view delight,
crouched beneath my mind,
some like a depressed hobbit, some like a innocent child in a playground,
filled with footprints in the sand, time-washed in waves and waves of true reality or self-perceived time.

where is my penny in my 3-yr old pocket,
i recall and sang even in troubles,
but now...

So it goes, history shows,
the desert must expand.
Rise and fall, bite the dust or shine in all vain glory.
walks stone hearts in clogs across all overly decorated valleys.
..

There's a bus that leaves at 8.15 and another at 10,
should i climb aboard, risk everything,
and ride it to the end.
Watch the hills like rollercoasters up against the sky,
saw how the eagles fly.

I couldn't take the bumpy journey, could i stop by, take a breather, be by myself and supposedly live life.

Been thinking, wondering, been asking why.