Heartbeat & breaths

I almost gone through all the lecture notes & revision questions that i brought to s'pore for the week, so i came back one and a half days earlier to finish off what's left at home and in the internet.
can't believe that the luggage that i 'drag' home weighs so heavily, might be more than 7kg, and it's mainly notes, papers..

thks to ah tat's transport, managed to get home in time to bathe n rush to night service... the passed week changed my life, I got into contact with one of my friends working in the big four audit firms (big four means the four biggest audit firms in the world), get to know roughly what is it like in the corporate/audit/professional world, referrals.. learned to study for God. get to study a lot a lot, cos staying in the orchard condo cuts traveling time substantially & also saved lots of my mental energy. i get to study 8-14 hrs a day, yayness. though first few days study until almost fell sick or until headache, but after some good mental management n getting used to, it's ok. Immense satisfaction when you clear up those accounting stuffs at the end of the day. (Accounting/audit/performance management issues are so easy to forget, to me, the final week of re-revision is supar crucial)

night service was good, P&W music was a little empty & not well co-ordinated, but P&W was fantastic, and with sermon by (surprisingly) uncle koon.

saw some teenz ppl packing/moving stuffs, camp ended n they just got back, i presume. man, my 4th or 5th time missing camp, i've partly forgotten how is it like in TEENz camp..

~

went to mamak.. tok-tok. nice talking to adults, they know stuffs & are experienced. haha.. hmm.. since when did adults become like friends, i'm old, hopefully more matured than last year.

~
Maturity...
Christ likeness..

When a girl/guy leaves, and your world crumbles.
If an exam failure hits, and your eyes are sunken.
When you are lonely, and the world spins against you.

lots to learn through the phases, to learn to put our trust in God and push thru it, in predicaments.
Then one day, when heads roll, we will still be able to stand firm.. =)

Only 23 yrs old, only lived one third of my life??! how come it felt like I have lived a lot longer?

I told uncle Koon that if i got the audit job, then i will start to experience what is called "life is tough", heh heh. ...maybe not, maybe life is only tough when u have kids, or mayb at midlife n sickness began crawling in?.. or at old age when every bone has a noise when moved?


"Be still, and know that I am God".



~

musings..


In Genesis, when Adam was created, God literally breathed life into him, and he lived.
And we, after 3 trimesters of development in the womb, got out, spanked, and breathed.
Tasting air for the first time, possibly after an unseen breath of God that draw us out from His sketch board to this life.

Every breath breathes of him. He notices every little sigh..
His thoughts concerning me outnumber the grains of sand on the shore..
Do I remember him?

Creator of stars & galaxies and the gigantic universe also happens to be the same person who sat down to draw every strand of DNA and kick-start my little life machine.

~


gotha sleep, completely flat out.

stuff my thoughts in a balloon and let it float to the sky.

Didn't hear much of him, but I like Nat King Cole's music & lyrics, simple yet unique..



Let there be you,
Let there be me.
Let there be oysters
Under the sea.

Let there be wind,
An occassional rain.
Chile con carne,
Sparkling champagne --

Let there be birds
To sing in the trees,
Someone to bless me
Whenever I sneeze.

Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please --
Let there be love.

from acca student blog

http://blogs.accaglobal.com/acca_blog6/

I did not stick to the plan!
I believe strongly that many of the exams we do through our academic life are failed outside the examination room. The moment we notice that we did not follow the plan that we set out at the beginning of our studies, we quickly conclude that we shall not be able to make it. Some of us even attempt to think about what we shall do differently in the next examination sitting. We promise ourselves that we shall stick to the plan next time and 'nothing shall stand in our way that time round………'.

With only a few days to the exam, thoughts like these can cloud our vision and quickly get us worried, shaken and unsettled. We quickly start thinking about the money and time we have invested and spend big chunks of our study time wondering whether we shall ever get over this hurdle. These thoughts soon drive us to thinking that there isn’t enough time and we should prepare ourselves for defeat. By the time we get to the paper, we are 50% convinced that we shall not make it and may even fail to pick out those questions which we would have otherwise passed.

The thoughts that we let into our minds at this time are very crucial for our success. We should endeavour to have a positive attitude and encourage ourselves every morning.
These are a few practical things that you may consider doing;

Confess a victory – 'I am going to pass P2 (or any paper you may be sitting for)….……..'

Encourage others – convince your friends that they are going to make it (this shall also give you confidence in yourself)

Look back at the effort you have put in under your circumstances and you will notice that you were actually doing your best and 'your best is good enough'

Look at the time left as an opportunity to hit your target and not a constant reminder of how little the time left is

Keep your mind on what you can do now and not what you have not yet done.
The moment your registration is accepted for a given paper, you are capable of passing it. We should ensure that we give ourselves the best chance of a pass by believing that we have got what it takes. We should take our eyes off our inadequacies and put them on our capabilities. As you get into that paper, look at it as an opportunity to pass and not just another failure.

Finally, when you are getting into that examination room, keep in mind that you are as prepared as you can be for the exam. The confidence that you build from inside shall propel you though the paper and give you a fair chance against the examiner.



excerpt fr another entry:

Finally, I am reminded of my final sitting (December 2007) where I spent some of the time just before the exams sorting out a personal crisis and I was tempted to believe that I was heading for failure.

During this time of confusion, the Lord strengthened me and reminded me of all the time that I had put in before and these few days of diversion would not deter my purpose. We can not accept to develop a sense of defeat. The most dangerous thing is to believe that you are not going to make it in June 2008 because if you do, you may indeed not make it. You have it in you to succeed and you have to build confidence coupled with great concentration, sacrifice and determination. Our concentration is greatly impaired by thinking about our inadequacies and I believe that if you take your eyes of the past and concentrate on optimising the time that is left, you shall certainly achieve that prestigious pass.

You should do your best because your best is good enough. =)
Good luck and God bless.

Dream job

After exams end at 10 june, gotha start looking for a job in the big four (in s'pore)... hope that i can get in.... (nervous). After ACCA, might further my studies - CFA..

KPMG
Ernst & Young *
Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu
PricewaterhouseCoopers **

trend of blogging

blogging nowadays is so different from 5 years ago.

i guess now people won't write if nobody reads.

Peak of my life

This is a great weekend, took a study break and went to church, serve as drummer for TEENz when we serve at Holy Light's youth service.

Last night, Pammy's service was a wake up call from God. I went forward during altar call, just want to come to him cos past few weeks very tired n numb spiritually, and struggling to let go of some baggages. Then God's 100% satisfaction and affirmation of his faithfulness comforted me, i let my guard down, and surrender all once again.

After the superb DVD display of the universe, pammy's preaching, and the 'outing' to holy light..
I realised that NOW is the best time of my life.

the best time, yet, for now. Cos in future there will be even "bester" times =)

I have friends, friends that can laugh with me, respect me, friends that admire my drum skills (hHahAhhaHAha - dracula laugh, with shoulders lifting up & down), friends that seems to be sticking around forever no matter who or how i am. And I have a God who guides me past unknown waters, even in failures. My family that loves n support me, my sister to 'gek' and accompany me, and all other ppl that i can hang out with, i.e. TnT dudes, tok-tok ppl. And dreams that still burns a flickering fire in uncertainty.

There's a saying that goes:
Look at yourself and you will be depressed,
look at the world and you will be distressed,
Look to God, and be at rest.. =)


How true! Well, i can guarantee that i can look at myself, and be very depressed.. heh heh.. I've got tons to worry abt, abt my CG, abt the future career, where to stay when i work, will i ever meet a future GF, will english service hav enough drummers, will existing new drummers improve, will i pass my exams, will i change to be better person, will i be not so quiet in college, will i ever get a job, how to encourage CG go mission n camp when i myself not going... blah blahs..

I bet there will be so many ppl out there, who are seemingly living perfect lives, and have more worries than i am. maybe everybody's want to live other ppl's lives, i want to have enough money, prettier things or partners, be perfect.

I believe that we will be perfect, or "perfect", when we look to God. Standing in the light, stop staring at the shadows n run. even if we can't see the final goal clearly.. If God shows me the next step, then I will run whole-heartedly towards the next step.

Told God last night, that i'm gonna give up my dreams of going overseas, if there's no open doors then i will stay n love you with all my heart. though i know i was gonna regret abt this by tomorrow, but, heh heh, better to give your heart away first (to God) before anything else changes your mind.



Friends

I always have this secret thought, n since this coming week I will be staying in s'pore & studying like siao and not using internet much. So i'll say it now.

I have always been admiring ppl, especially friends. not the pervert or romantic way, but I would look at them, their lives, and smile to myself, thinking abt how wonderful they lived their lives and i might not get to see another person like them again.

ppl like BF, angela, alvin, ah lum, aaron, fu yao, jesmond, aunty lynn & koon, uncle koon i mean (not aunty koon, lol) , esther, alan, terence, titus,...so many many ppl.... young ones also like nicole, vincent, etc. many more.. some facing struggles but the way they handle it and overcame it made me look at myself n assure.."hmm!" I too can make it!

I mean, where else can u find great ppl like these??! they are not perfect, but they are certainly quite powderful. as in, like.. u know la.


I would thank God that he put me in such a super circle of friends to encourage me to grow, haha, selfish me. =P

no la, really.. ppl like pei pei too.... so many many others.. everybody going through different phases and situations in life, struggling, wrestle with God, fight.. surrender.. pull thru.. come out triumph one day in different facets.



I look at myself as a failure as an individual, but a success in Christ. because i know i'm gonna fail again if i depend on myself, and i know i will shine like stars if i surrender n follow God.

In the ulu tribe that Jim Elliot reached out to, the christians there are not called christians, but "God followers". what a privilege and challenge, if you ask me, i won't be able to tell you everyday that i am a God follower, but i will be. =)

`````

i'm just writing non stop without editing or pausing much.. gonna go soon, need to pack my clothes n go off to alan's place to stay. he's not staying there at the moment cos now having a break and thks to him much-much i get to reduce my traveling time n study more "kow" than ever in my whole freakin life. ha!

thks alan! =)


i enjoyed every moment while in holy light, in own church.. anyway, after the holy light thingy, zhen kang asked me abt drum stuff, n i teach him some secrets (mr zhen, schumann's boss told me i can charge him RM50 for what i told him in that 10 mins , ha). just usual stuffs that i tell ppl, other new drummers in FGC already knew..

got offers for drum job again, yay, but not taking it up. zhen kang told me that i am very popular, many ppl know me as the pro drummer. wow, sounds so great at first, but not so great la. cos if my hands one day kena chop off then my popularity will fade like mad.

God's recognition will be best la, but of course sometimes kena praised by strangers still feels good la, haha.


serve God faithfully, and he will bring you places.

yeap yeap.


gotha go.

bye bye!

some ppl say this blog they got read. very inspirational, i hope it still is.
Our God is our inspiration, without him, i can only be sad ass. haha.

byes

oh ya, last thing..

when i left holy light, the children service kids are practicing this song... unbelievable.. it sounded so beautiful from the voices of children.

ladies n gentlemen, The Prayer.




I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we’ll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L’eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c’e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E’il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

Steven c. Chapman's daughter passed away

This undated family handout provided by the Chapman family shows from left to right: Will Franklin, Maria, Steven Curtis, Shaoey, MaryBeth, Stevey Joy, Caleb, and Emily Chapman.

http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/

MARIA SUE CHAPMAN, DAUGHTER OF STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, DIES IN ACCIDENT AT FAMILY HOME

NASHVILLE, TN...5/21/08... At approximately 5pm on the afternoon of Wednesday May 21st, Maria Sue Chapman, 5 years old and the youngest daughter to Steven and Mary Beth Chapman was struck in the driveway of the Chapman home in Franklin, TN. Maria was rushed to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville, transported by LifeFlight, but died of her injuries there. Maria is one of the close knit family’s six children and one of their three adopted daughters.

More than five years ago, Chapman and his wife MaryBeth founded The Shaohannah’s Hope Ministry after bringing their first adopted daughter, Shaohannah, home from China. The ministry’s goal is to help families reduce the financial barrier of adoption, and has provided grants to over 1700 families wishing to adopt orphans from around the world. Chapman is a five-time GRAMMY ® winner and 54-time Dove Award winning artist who has sold over 10 million albums and garnered 44 No. 1 singles.

Steven Curtis Chapman's recent release, Cinderella, was written in part for Maria. He spoke to Bethany Christian Services about the song.

This song was inspired by my two youngest girls. One night I was giving them a bath and trying to get them in bed. I was hurrying and became frustrated. After I got the girls in bed, God convicted me not to miss these moments because kids grow up so quickly. The song is called 'Cinderella.'

It goes without saying that the family will appreciate prayers at this time of turmoil. If you are inclined to prayer, please pray especially for the teen boy, who must now live with this tragedy for the rest of his life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

few months ago...

Steven Curtis Chapman Story Behind the Song "Cinderella"

"Cinderella" music video

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

When..

I know it is not an easy topic..
Will TEENz sermon one day talk about boy & girl relationships?

comments:

-hah! I was thinking about that these few weeks too! I really hoping for something like a series of sermons or what. Something like what Teenz did for Hellsbell.

-hahaha, this thought was in my mind many years ago. but forgot it coz din find someone thought abt this too, and i found myself weird. hahahaha erm..

-so what do you all reckon huh? what's the whole sermon about?

-well, all abt BGR lo, not just about abstaining from sex.
hmm.. cos i think most (if not all) teenagers have come across issues regarding to this topic, either in a relationship, or having liked or being liked by others, how to deal with it... things like: how to deal with a breakup (if already in it), should relationships be kept to a secret..

i guess that every teen in TEENz "knows the rules", and when they did something else outside and faced problems, they got no one to turn to.

i hope that TEENz won't be viewed as a fellowship that "won't accept you" if you have a boy/girlfriend.

A beach

my brit lecturer was in the lift as we went down to ground floor, he hung up the phone, telling me that his babies were so excited that when he was talking to his wife on the mobile, he could hear them screaming "daddy daddy!!"...

after class went to danga bay at 7pm, while on the way, rode my bike along 2 km stretch of magnificent sea view n salty fresh air. at danga, watched a kite-filled sunset sky, it was so beautiful.. hope that someday in the future i will... not be such a lonely sad ass, lol.
Thank God that he's always around.

(essay below) copy from a website, once in a while share the same sentiments.. gotha sleep, tomorrow go college at 7am, till 10.30pm, will be home by 12.15am.

Life’s a Beach. I turned off the car and took a deep breath. Looking slowly up into the pink sky, I began to watch the golden sun go to sleep. The beach seemed deserted, quiet, but peaceful. I opened my door and put my feet out on the soft sand. I started taking my shoes off, then my socks. I threw them in the passenger seat, and then shut the door. I looked out over horizon of the lake and started walking towards the still water. With each step I took, I could feel the warm sand crunch between my toes. Then suddenly, a sharp rock, but not sharp enough to break the skin. Closer and closer to the calm water, I began sinking deeper in the sand. It was comforting, the silence, tranquility, and warmth of the faint sun. There is a slight breeze, warm, but cold and lonely. I could smell the scent of fish blowing through my hair and body. The sun was still fading, slowly but surely the day was almost over. About half of it is gone now. I could see shades of blue, red, purple, and pinkish-yellow. They were mixed with puffy clouds that lined the beginning of the sky and the end of the water. I noticed the darker shades on the bottom of the lower clouds. I stopped walking and looked up at the faint stars. The seagulls were flying overhead. They were screeching and swooping at the water. I started to wish I were one of them, flying free without any restrictions or limits. I listened to their voice, the screech. Deep down in I could understand what they were saying. I can’t explain it, but I was so in love with the moment I thought I saw things as they did. I was in company of animals that had no concept of time, and no worries, and I was contempt with that. I closed my eyes and the faint sun warmed my face, as if shining only for me. The warmth made me feel sad, because I had no one to share it with. It made me wonder if anyone else was doing this same exact thing as I was right then. When I opened my eyes, all the birds were gone except for one. The bird was like me. It didn’t want to fly away; it wanted to stay there on that lonely beach and watch the sunset of a lifetime. No sound, just the wind blowing thunderously through my ears. And the waves crashing down on the wet sand. It made the hair on my arms stand up and I got a chill, but I didn’t move. I took another deep breath and started walking towards where the water meets the sand. With each step I took, the sand got cooler and cooler. Then, with a final step, it turned cold. My feet were in the cold water and sand. It was sudden, wet, but soft. The dark blue water drew back in. Thrusting violently, crashing everywhere, the lake threw its cool brisk body into my dry legs, scaring the lone bird away with its unique destructive sound. The wind started to pick up a little. It was extra cold on the wet spots of my body. The water was as black as silence, with only a slight reflection of the sun. I could not tell the lake was there. The sun took the lake with it, to share with someone else. I stood there for a couple more seconds, and before I knew it, the sun was gone. The colors became more independent as the shadow of the sun lessened. Then, it was gone. Without trace, sound, or movement. It was strange to me: an energy source as abundant as the sun was just in my presence an energy source that heats a whole planet and a lonely beach had left without a trace. I looked up and saw a whole new world of beauty, as if the sun left the people of the night a gift until its return. The stars were bright and few. It was a little cloudy higher up. I could only see the stars people stargaze over. But I focused on the ones that were hard to see. Looking through the fog of the night sky, the smaller stars exposed themselves to me. It was only a matter of time before I was accepted into the night and they all welcomed me. The water crashed into my feet again, cooler than the previous wave. Splash after splash after splash, but the cold waves had no effect on me. I was in such wonder and amazement that my body became numb. I had no feeling because I was lost in a rare beauty that a lot of people take for granted. The millions of scattered stars that covered that silent night sky made a lonely beach seem a little more at home. I went to this beach in hope of finding someone, perhaps a soul mate. But instead, I found that everything comes and goes. The sun left me with a memory of its beauty with a sunset. The sunset left me with a reminder that the sun is not for ever. The lone bird that stayed with me and watched the sunset showed me that you don’t have to know someone to share a beautiful moment with them. Beautiful moments are beautiful moments, but they have a little more definition behind them if you share them with someone or something. The night sky and stars, gave me a sense of peace, knowing that we are never alone. The stars are always there, even if we can't see them.

孤独久了, 无言...

Absent for 5 weeks

As some ppl noticed, and I have already informed leaders concerned, I won't be around much in church, will be studying..

Little dreams after exam... If I have US$4,000.. .. 3 weeks intensive drum course in New York..

*PS. There's a simple survey to your right, please do it, thks. I want to see how many ppl are secretly peeking over my shoulder as I am typing. heh heh heh..

When i write this blog, I always assumed that either nobody reads it; or only alan, pei2, sara, terence, titus and esther read it.

For ppl having exams.. search for "how to study" in youtube n u'll be surprised how many videos there are about exam preparation. =)

how to improve your memory, the "popcorn" method
(and also how to be -_-" funny while trying to act knowledgeable, lol. imagine him doing this in a drama while everybody else ignores him or gives him an occasional punch/slap n he still continues talking)

things to settle after exam

so 烦 , exam coming very soon then non-exam related things juat keep popping out of my head here & there. just put a simple list here so that i don't have to think about it while studying.

AF
- wait for confirmation, update fr Jacob
- ask accommodation
- lyrics for LCD
- song sequence & translation
- own team's song list & prac
- equipment needed (Jit)
- marketing, multi-C - Flyer fr AF
- Book sanc

D4C
- wait for D4C's email "mission statement"
- Advice - kl, p.
- find venue
- want to change date? currently is Nov.
- suitability of event, improvise programme?
- CA academy Ds
- C Ds

Wed
- 50 S CD
- Time & date of 1st gig

CG
- Jo

D in C
- prac schedule
- phi, kl, chi
- masai c
- jit, jam room?
- nic, yi le CG

the most boring dream in the world

two nights ago i dreamt that i am.... studying.

The path less travelled..is a frightening one.

These 3 days' lecture will be 45 min later than usual, due to the coming exam.. so usually the bus that i took is already the last bus of the day..

got back to JB custom at 12.15am, thought about the path less travelled, thought about saying "Jesus loves you" to the transvestite..

So I walked the path...


Took a left turn rather than the usual right.. cross some roads.. very few ppl, some suspicious-looking guys squatting... on my way back to where i parked my bike, the other route.


Walk across the little park with a fountain in the middle of it.. quite dark... saw this guy washing a piece of cloth at the fountain, quickly walk pass..

reached this area of old shops, near the old indian bakery, walked pass the empty car park and two guys seemed to be staring at me. And 3 metres away, a stationery bike and van started their engines, rev loud, driving towards me...

Fear plays like a heightened sense of worse scenarios, i quickly ran pass that area... and the bike n van overtook me, and drive on... ceh, i thought they want to rob me, think too much..think too much.. haha. at that moment when i try to cool down my pumping fear & adrenalin, i looked ahead, and there stood a transvestite.


"Abang, ada rokok?"


....



I guess that's their usual pick-up line for customers, I walked pass him, wanting to give up my little mission, but he came to me a few steps nearer.... I took the courage, look at him/her in the eye and said.. "Jesus loves you".

oh no, forgot to smile, what if he doesn't understand english?!..

again.. "Tuhan sayangi kamu", with a forced little smile.. =]



he looked at me, puzzled for a few seconds, then try to sell his business, start acting naughty!!


woah, scary!! quickly walked away, as fast as my feet can carry me.. and 5 mins later, reached my destination!!! hooray, my bike!!!!
i can't remember when was the last time i felt such super great gratitude to be safe and alive, and the satisfaction i felt for saying the 3 words.


If nobody tells him/her this, that God loves him, then i'm glad to be the first. Hope that those 3 words will keep lingering in his head, heh heh. my little un-exemplary adventure of the day.

~

So many people are searching for love, not excluding christians..
The need for love is the loudest quiet desperation in our generation.
Till we realised and receive, and finally say, "true love has found me"..

from a fwd email, hey, same age as me =)

My name is Nick Vujicic and I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth 'defect'. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles.
Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors we shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.






I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these 'bad' things happen in our life.
I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless God has a good purpose for it all
I am now twenty-threeyears old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.



I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.
Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year.

?
It will be called 'No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!'


?

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a 'box'. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we
can't do anything without God. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!


?
?

The Mystery of Faith

From Christians to Muslims, see how the devoted pray, worship and celebrate.

Only 26 days left..

Happiness

I'm really happy =)

cos i had a fun dinner with sis in SP, having the delicious black pepper beef sar hor fan , joking about the very young-looking poly boy (looked like 14 yrs old), and the superb tom-yam flavoured sambal. and just talking about stuffs..

at night had an ITC committee meeting at Long John Silver, i get to eat their crispy crumps & fries, drank this big cup of coke. had meeting, talk about stuffs & ITC thingies..
This ITC committee that comprises of 5 ppl, always joke around n talk like mad then talk about serious issues. can't get any better than this.. friends, part family, then only committee.

i'm glad cos see keong (caleb) fetched me to the bike parking spot beside kotaraya so that i don't have to walk that 10-15 mins.. i didn't know that by car can reach so fast, only need 1 min.. heh heh.

go home same old 11.45pm but then mom got left dinner for me.. woa ha, the fried egg is sooo nice. outside crispy and a bit salty, inside soft and a bit creamy.


now tired (but not as tired as usual, woo hoo!) n wanna sleep.. hair not yet dry, dishes waiting to be washed.. felt so carefree now.. another 7-8 hours of sleep b4 the next session of studying.




I am thankful because all this time i don't fall sick while having this crazy traveling routine (after seeing see hwee fell sick). And something really struck me when i was in see keong's car..


When we got into the car, see hwee just rests her head on see keong's (boyfriend) shoulder, no words said, just a little sigh..


And God whispered, "see.. exactly..."



Yeah, exactly.. the way I should come to God.. especially when i'm tired and felt like destroying the whole world. Or when i feel worthless & not being in the situation that i deserve.

Lean against Him, in His presence, and just sigh...


The sigh of relief, comfort, outpouring of angst..
Knowing that I can choose: to burst out cursing about how life is such a bitch, surrender to routines and tiredness, dream about having now things that couldn't possibly happen, or rest in God, who knows best, who is (in my opinion) "qian da" enough to hold back certain luxuries so that i could develop better character, loves me right beyond my imagination & comprehension; reminds me that i am first nothing, but with Him i can go a step further, a step wider, a step deeper..

be rest assured, lean on His shoulder.. sigh...
it's tough, but you are here, always here.. and i guess that's enough.. =)


~

anyway, because of see keong's route, i get to see a different walking path back to my bike parking area.. i wonder if i dare to walk that path, look at the transvestite in the eyes, say no to his/her services, and say "God loves you" with a big smile..

if something bad happens and i die, is it worth it? if nothing happens, is it worth it? if i don't do it, will i regret it?

Salt & Light or passerby...

Pandora's

woa.. forgot that my little box of DVDs got so many titles inside... prison break, friends, heroes, smallville, hana kimi...

The path blazer - excellent reading material

Mom recommended me to read this book which has been published freely in the internet, i read a few pages n find it sincere & encouraging. nice.. will read it after my exam. it's about this lady in the late 1800's to 1900's who had a very close walk with God and is the one who led to first pentecostal outpouring in 1906..

first published in 1962. Now for the first time the entire volume is available on the Internet. Last year - 2006 - marked the 100th anniversary of the modern-day outpouring of the Holy Spirit. It thus seems fitting for this volume to appear at this time in this form so that a new internet-based audience might learn from Martha Wing Robinson's remarkable experience and life and, as Gordon Gardiner wrote in the preface, "be encouraged and inspired to go on ( to find) Jesus Christ in all His fullness."

Click down here ------->
Radiant Glory - the life of Martha Wing Robinson
by Gordon P. Gardiner is the only existent biography of a relatively unknown woman who lived in the mid-West at the turn of the 20th century. Gordon P. Gardiner spent over 20 years writing this account of Martha Wing Robinson's life, drawing from personal remembrances as a boy and young man in Illinois, many interviews with her closest associates, sheaves of correspondence, and notes and dictations of her talks.

Martha Wing Robinson was born in 1874, converted in 1898, healed of several severe maladies under the ministry of John Alexander Dowie, and was then led by God into the Pentecostal outpouring in 1906. A great hunger and thirst for more of Jesus welled up in her soul and, in November of 1907, after months of intense prayer, Jesus granted her heart's desire: The resurrected Christ took possession of her - body and soul and spirit - to a much greater degree than what most Christians today believe is possible. (see chapter 24)


...There is a natural tendency in all but the most discerning believers to look for and make much of the spectacular, wanting to hear about dreams and visions, angelic visitations and such like. There is little of that here. The book tells only a small portion of Mrs. Robinson's personal experiences. Mrs. Robinson kept many of her experiences and understandings in strict confidence between herself and her Lord. But with things hinted at in public or spoken of in hushed tones by her associates, truly it can said that the half has not been told in this book and is known now only to the saints above and the Lord whom she loved.

But the simplicity of Mrs. Robinson's teaching to always love and obey Jesus, to abide in Him moment by moment, was accompanied by powerful demonstrations of all the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Those who had the privilege of hearing her teach or receiving her letters knew that it was the Lord Himself ministering through her.

And now, thanks to the meticulous work and determination of Gordon Gardiner, she being dead, yet speaketh to us....

Excerpt::

"Well, no doubt, if there were less self-life, the Holy Ghost would have been poured out in greater power. I have con­fidence in God that He will perfect that which concerneth me, and that the time will come that not only will I have the ‘well of water springing up into everlasting life’ (which I now have, praise His name), but the flow shall be so strong and the channel so free and unimpeded by self that ‘rivers of living waters’ shall flow out for the good of others. Sometimes I say, ‘O Lord, how long!’ but yet I know He is working as fast as I can receive."