Just typing

God, will you be there when darkness sets in?
when in my highs and lows and significance of doubt cloud my judgement about you and about life.
Say your word and there be life, in genesis, till revelation.
Be there in my birth, till i breathe my last, say your life.
See my dust in a sun-filled sky.
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Love, be my heart
fire my diligence in due time.
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Hope, light my eyes
see air in darkness.
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sigh..
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despite many moments of happiness, sometimes i find myself sinking into that lowly feeling in the middle of the night. and i wonder, why couldn't i bring myself out of this vacuum and live everyday full, like a kid who wakes and sleeps of contentment, or a busy adult who fulfills every duty and sleeps in completeness of a day's worth of sweat. i would be cheating myself again if the lack of quietness with God and dependency on myself can stroll everyday with purpose.
Be like an ant.
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oh yeah, sister's coming back on friday, she's not around all this while cos of NS. looking forward to have her around during chinese new yr. lots of painting work need to be done in da house before she's back. she's got bad sore throat, talking like a out-of-pitch old girl through the phone.. but NS sounds fun.

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i dread going to kluang on monday to see my relatives, i know it's not a good sign.. as yrs add length to our age n height, it's hard to find common ground with my cousins anymore.. i hope this will not happen when i'm there.
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oh, it's late again, 2.30am.. i had a really great time eating in Friday's wif "boon boon" and "lala", my best birthday celebration so far, maybe also because i did some planning to it. and some people are just wonderful..
22 years old, and it's getting older as i blink.
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i fear time slipping out of my hands cos i'm not as young as i thought anymore.
i want to squeeze every juice out of the clock.
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i want to have a smooth face too.. haha, out of the topic suddenly.
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i watched "the holiday" in the cinema, well, i sure want to own a charming smile like jude law. haha. the conversations in the movie are quite deep and well spoken, will put it up in the next entry.
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sweet dreams.