Heart

it's a very normal day from dawn to dusk.
chores, studies, meals, computer, family, work..

But today i had a slightly deeper conversation with my friend, i would say a colleague & friend. Never knew her more than 3 months (she already has a boyfriend) but i just opened up and talked about boy-girl type of love, and she said something..

"If i put these into too much consideration before choosing.. education, wealth; will love lose its essence?"

may be true in a way,
but what i only know is that it might have caused a love gone cold & lost, or is it a result of conscience disobedience? Would picking up & dialing really change it all?..

and all the if-i-would-haves that welled up in me, setting up a happier past and blame it on the present, I find myself trembling on a long winding road towards self-forgiveness. Reconciliation is moreover, beyond reach.

All these kept thumping, breaking the last remaining strings attached to my heart..
..and right at this moment, i stand weeping in the rain.

..

.





but God, why do you still hear me?..

why are you near the contrite hearted..


In the pelting of darkness,
when my soul cringe in deformity of your likeness..
..

but because of your love,
my soul sings in the hope of life.

and i have sweet dreams every night,
under your wings of everlasting promise.




tomorrow, a door to sunrise..