the organiser asked us to advertise it. I'm going, take public transport up there then watch till song already then come back..
already missed the last 50-hour marathon thing because of teenz concert.. i must not miss this,,. must see lewis pragasam play!!! =P
this month is like drum month.. 11 mar go KL play in pastors' conference @ golden horses palace or something like that.. 16 mar is live recording... 17 mar is drum clinic near my college..and 20 mar is another drum shed session in PJ... coupled with studies.. dunno why things always crop up more as age goes by..
teenz live recording concert coming soon.. after prac, realised that drums got a lot to work on, was really really blur during the previous prac, played like a no-brainer. This week gotha spend my free time burying in tons of music and worship, and metronome nightmare..
When I'm alone, have been very moon river lately..
Moon river wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style someday You dream maker, you heartbreaker Wherever you're going I'm going your way Two drifters off to see the world Theres such a lot of world to see Were after the same rainbows end Waiting round the band My huckleberry friend, moon river And me
It does feels different when there is one less person snoring 3 feet away when i wake up. And one less person that always comes home late and we will have to wait for him.
so my bro's gone there, cheap and nice rent, prestigious and beautiful uni. nice.. nice...
borrowed this Jason Mraz live DVD from the library.. quite nice, real tight playing and fast lyrics. I guess this lyrics is similar to myself, finally out of words, heh.
You and I Both
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me Oh things are gonna happen naturally Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side And balancing the whole thing But often times those words get tangled up in lines And the bright lights turn to night Until the dawn it brings Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of Others only read of the love, the love that I love.
See I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
You and I, you and I Not so little you and I anymore And with this silence brings a moral story More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy
Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just dream of And if you could see me now Well I'm almost finally out of I'm finally out of Finally deedeedeedee Well I'm almost finally, finally Well I'm free, oh, I'm free
And it's okay if you have go away Oh just remember the telephone works both ways And if I never ever hear them ring If nothing else I'll think the bells inside Have finally found you someone else and that's okay Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of and others just read of and if you could see now well I'm almost finally out of. I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.
My bro is leaving soon, in 4 days... Wrote this for him, he's still unaware of it, will probably pass this to him at the airport. Hope that it is good enough, an old memory...
“Oh, papa is home!”
Cries out innocence,
Dashing from marinate stir-fry flavoured mommy kitchen,
Distant merriment in likeness of ingenuous ecstasy,
The healthy ol' coughing of Vespa sings.
Dances feet,
Sparkling shining gladden eyes,
Long of the belonged,
Out of 10, Happy Street.
Gone are the felicitous breeze,
Accompany the wildness of drunken sun,
Sweeping, setting in fulfilled hope fantasy.
Each note elaborated in your eyes,
The wonder of a gracefully orchestrated play,
And the grace in its wonders.
Hop in Victor too, amidst the sulking 'Kabi',
“Sorry, no more space, haha!”
That punchy little face stomps off loudly in huge little steps,
Wearing papa's super big Reebok shoey, proudly.
“Vrooom! Pop pop!!”
Goes the weathered scooter back into forgotten memories,
Standing in front of it all,
Welcoming the cool current and diving scenery.
And he, hugging papa’s waist tightly,
Being loved and revelling in its simple pleasance,
I think this is the 1st time writing specifically about my Bday, because it was so good i can't ignore it.
It started at 7pm when i fetched stel n titus, dropped off my sis at CS, she's going back to s'pore. Since 11pm the day before, when i was asleep, sms-es started pouring in, never happened before in my previous Bdays. Altogether received almost 30 (!) sms-es, plus some emails & facebook superwall; from primary sch friends, my 2 diff sec sch friends, pastor, leaders, church friends (tnt & teenz), and other adult friends. Phone ringing with sms-es almost every hour.
I don't get it, so surprising.
Brought stel & ah tat for dinner, stel picked "Rooster", a little restaurant hidden opposite the old indian bakery, downtown. An obscure restaurant that looked like an old jewel, the priceless ambiance that shines from within, emanating warmth as we dine simply on its special nasi lemak, delicate hokkien mee, other yummies and scrumptiously blended fruit drinks.
something like this, inside.. Talking sweetly nonchalantly as the old music dances along delightfully, in a place of cushy little sofas and antique chairs, as the voices cover over warmly lighted table tops and dark corners. The pretty waitress behind an ol' wooden counter, blending fruits, walking up & down the stairs serving satisfied customers.
Something I have wished some time ago but forgotten, a bonding haven for good ol' friends.
Paid the bill and headed to stel's place together, as opposed to my better suggestion at Danga Bay. My two best friends are a little weird today.
Drove in, parked, walked into her house, waiting to sit on the dining chair. My eyes caught a glimpse to my right, a group of familiar faces sitting there, looking at me like I am going to burst into a thousand magic tricks.
"Happy Birthday!!"
Chorused the crowd that jumped colourfully into my monochrome world.
Wei Ting, Ah Zhou, Ke Tyng, Ye Chou, Ee Vynn, Yan, Wen Mynn, Thomas, and others. I am definitely not used to being the centre of attraction, somehow the bubbles of joy & surprise popped out before it reaches my face and head. Thanked them profusely, if it translates out to my actions accurately.
Poured chinese tea into english cups, with additional coffee in homely mugs. Thinking back now, it all seemed like something that only appears in movies, too good to be true, the cafe and surprise at home.
Ken arrived shortly, present me a nice Ikea table lamp, roundish white. Looks like Doraemon's hand, lol. Lovely present.
The cake is proudly paraded to the coffee table, plus a hilarious candle scene, when the candle fire was puffed and secretly added a drop of chinese tea to make it difficult to light up again. There goes the most popular song on earth, and being persuaded to share what the newly 23 year old boy wished.
blah blahs..
I suggested to play this simple game, everybody prepare a full cup, and take a generous sip when you are the something I say, similar to truth & dare, but a friendly version. It went really well, I think the responses are so fun & interesting, like who wants more than 3 children in the future, who initially wanted to stop joining tnt during the the first few visits, etc.. Everybody brought closer in their sincere admittance of not-too-sensitive pasts, weakness and hidden big dreams.
considered my last day celebrating CNY. in the afternoon, brought my bro to grace's shop in holiday plaza to get an extra pair of specs for his "no-return" trip to melbourne. It was nice looking at all the potential eye wear that i could have donned. Picky picky.. and in the end my bro got a neat modern one.
waiting at the lull scribbling of another optometrist on the payment receipt, Grace tapped me, "wait here..", went off, fading behind, trailing off the outer crowd noise.
I sensed a surprise awaiting, and was beautifully rewarded with two pieces of cake.
"happy Birthday!" =)
Thanks to her, I remembered how nice a birthday could be.
was actually mad at my bro for being late and i have to wait for him all afternoon, and i thanked God for teaching me to be more patient and forgiving. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
So i drove bro home, sent my sister to the custom. Anxious at what I barely miss, heading to this impromptu destination - my primary school teacher's house.
There goes, lazily parking the car while thinking about how is everybody, the 7 classmates that are there, getting down the car and try to recall the little names to match the matured faces.
Took off my shoes and slightly sticky socks, tugged them awkwardly into my shoe, and in walk myself to the present and past, into my teacher's humble house.
Smiles all over the conversations, stories of how we are doing now, comments about the present education system, enjoying my P5 BM teacher's big laughters.. Talking about our memorable past, discussing about our exact sitting position in class when we were 12 years old, feeling nostalgic and wondering why time flies by so cruelly in between the 11 years.
I am in a different world with them, our worlds collide once again.
Said reluctant byes to them and dragged my feet to Yan's house for an informal CNY gathering and dinner. Tuned myself back to the world I am in, enjoying every single bit of small chat and huge laughs.
The beefs and mashed potatoes in my stomach screamed in ecstasy, such delightful food!
Pretty dog, wonderful people, heavenly food, and a great time that ended in singing of birthday songs and prayer for the February babies. After which some TnT dudes can't wait to get back to their "Risk" board game, bonding in their virtual wars.
I managed to gather Wen Mynn & Carol to watch CJ-7 at leisure mall, but sadly have to resort to KungFu Dunk because of the movie schedule. An enjoyable time anyway, though i frown upon the weak scene-changing and flaky characters.
Drove back to Yan's place at midnight, not forgetting the promise to come back and 'da pau' food. The remaining ppl are just about to leave. Took 2 packs of mee siam handled to me, byes, and went home.
Received a silent sms from Wen Mynn to miss call her when I reached home safely. Replied her, thanked her for her concern.
Don't understand why little cares could mean the world. Think of boon fei's request to treat me a birthday dinner, pei2's book, think of my parent's love for me, thought of myself...
Listening to this mandarin slow acoustic song that my pri sch mate sent me, conclude that i have written this nice blog entry that's brewing like slow coffee, thinking that it would be nice if read slowly. listened to the whole Amanda Falk album, listened to the nicest 1st version of 'Eternal Life' of TEENz upcoming album...
Surrender to my eyelids, expanding my vision into dreams, and just sleep,..
First two day went to grandma's place in Kluang, long long traffic jam at the plus highway, get off at kulai after 2 hours and go along the old road. More fun n chatting compared to last year, went climbing Gunung Lambak with cousins at late afternoon.
heh heh.. didn't know that it is really climbing the mountain, with ropes, sometimes no rope, really steep. too bd it is already 6.30pm at 75% of the mountain, then have to climb down. next day climb again and reached the peak. really cool air @ 510m.
on wednesday went touring with TnT. it was really a fun trip, going 'round... at night went to a TnT member sister's bro funeral. sad.. only at 21 years old.
going there n coming back, i kept thinking abt how is it like dying at a young age. i asked ah tat if there is a choice, would he want to die young or die old. he said it's up to God, when we've completed what we're supposed to do on earth. i asked him again & again, he kept saying that, won't tell me whether it's young or old. avoiding my question, lol.
lots of thoughts went on in my head, but i'm lazy to write it.
it's good to think about death sometimes, because it makes me think about life, and what to do about it. I would want a big mansion with cool stuffs inside when i leave my body, it lasts for...ever. heh
just received the concert's raw recording mp3, heh heh. some parts are hilarious.. =P few self- evaluations n changes need to be made.. the tough part of drums in recording is the physical isolation and heightened sensitivity to music, creative thinking, ppl ard, congregation, worship leader n musicians which makes playing very tiring mentally... and sad part is i don't get to be the audience.
Billy Ward, my fav drummer, besides Steve Gadd. actually 99% of my playing are copied from other great drummers, mix & match. heh
CNY coming, food.. food.... and there goes my age of 22 too.. happy Bday to me soon.
no longer 22 by next week..
will be super glad if i sounded better than him, it would be a good present. Ladies & gentleman, Billy Ward.
borrowed this CD from esplanade library.. the music n singing is simply beautiful.. =) i loved the My Fair Lady Suite, medley of songs from My Fair Lady & Oliver Twist... so nice...
- Have enough money to buy the junk food that i want, be 2 inches taller, be educated in a western school, have a Caucasian accent.
2. You like rainy day or sunny day? Why? - Depends on mood or whether I am indoors or outdoors, i love both.
3. Which colour you like most? Black or White? - I like white more, but i definitely wear black clothes more.
4. If you've chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one? - That I love them and always will?
5. Where is the place you wanted to go most? Why? - i'm greedy: new york, los angeles, switzerland, italy, melbourne, london, sydney, japan: hokaido?
why ar, cos it's nice, and i would love to experience a totally diff culture.
6.Which part of you that you hate most? - not hate la, i wish would improve: my ability to focus
7. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do? - har.. wish it is raining. listen to songs, talk to friends or God, or write sad poetry
8. What are you afraid to lose most? - My family, my courage to love, and courage to be myself.
9. List out 3 good points of the one who tagged you. - someone that i can look up too. i guess one point is enough.
10. What are the requirements that you wish for your other half? - hmm.. ok, i'm gonna jack up this requirement unrealistically high.. heh, for fun.
An excellent singer n pianist, laughs n enjoys talking to each other, good character & pleasant personality, simple, loves God, sincere, a good talker n listener. Sweet-looking, has expressive eyes, beautiful smile, loyal, healthy, same taste in music n movies, a little adventurous, always spur each other in spiritual growth and maturity. Have the same calling. Name's victoria. lol
11. Till now, what is the moment that you regret most? - Major disasters that happened, that has to do with not listening to God
12. Which type of person you hate most? - People with evil intentions & the cunning type
13.What is your ambition? - Be the best I could be in my studies/work/talent that would be a lot.
14.What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad. - One of the ways: The way that person avoids certain topics of conversation.
15. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? - Marrying victoria, lol.
16. Who would you want to spend your last day with? - family and a small group of close friends, and probably writing letters/email/phone all the others.
17. What do you think that is most important in your life? - Learning how n when to lead & follow, share, treasure, and love.
18. Who's your favourite cartoon character? - none actually. likes manga n movie characters. favourite movie character would be Jason Stevens in the movie "The Ultimate Gift" (2006)
19.What will you do if the world ends tomorrow? - besides the usual, eat two McD apple pies, and call all my non-christian friends and said that i still want to meet them the day after tomorrow, and plead them to receive Christ.
this pretty girl who likes her songs, has same tastes in music as me, went to the same kindergarten & primary school, same class for 4 years, us being teased by classmates for 4 years; then came sec sch, she went to a girl's sch, n i went to a boys sch.
see each other during inter-sch competition, muttered 2 sentences. graduate.
shares the same birth date, and serendipity-ly keep in contact once or twice a year. when we meet now, talked non-stop for hours. she asked about me, my neighbours (who r classmates too), music and drumming; i asked abt her composing, classmates, n who's the next one getting married.
it is getting to the end of January, yay. Busy month ending soon.. Because of classes, i am yet to attend TEENz service for this year, and feeling out of touch with going-ons in english service & TnT.
sis told me about the ITC day during teenz, the hilarious part where ah-tat published some of my old photos of "self-posing faces". ah, the happy days when ITC always have its meetings in s'pore. the most gel-able n fun comittee, heh.
oh, 2008, when i am 23, an age i never could imagine achievable but here am i, waiting for maturity to kick in, either gracefully or a painful butt in the boinky stomach. recently i have been so task-oriented its unbelievable, i hope to tweak this blind to see the real people parading in all its glory.
words flow, time flies. sigh.
i felt that my drumming for the teenz album's chinese songs are too rigid, so when mom switched on the radio featuring chinese DJs puking lurvy-dovy words n playing sappy songs, i am inspired - by the creative drumming on dull songs, and da beauty of chinese words. lots of improvement n writing to be made to play better..
last sunday was my last drum lesson, a 9-week break, will continue after the live recording. said a short bye to my students n gave them assignments that weigh a ton [dracula laugh].
study-wise, it's nice, student to lecturer ratio is much better, less students = more personalised lectures, especially from Brit lecturers, though s'porean lecturers still sounded too professional n business-like. there's a new m'sian lecturer that has a really funny accent, and has a face that makes you wanna punch him, ha, lightens up my day anytime.
yay-ness! i am able to attend TEENz the coming sat, but sadly as an 'old person'. The good thing is I get to enjoy some 'senior citizen' privileges in TEENz:
1. able to come late n leave early without raising any eyebrows 2. order the musicians around 3. able to give foolish comments blatantly & confidently 4. when sitting with a much younger teen and looked serious, will make that teen look like a bad person, haha.
ha, ok, if you're feeling under-priviledged now then it means you are still in TEENz; if feeling questionable, then it means you don't know it's a cold joke.
saturday: till 5pm class, rush back to JB church 7pm, prac bil till 9.30pm, ITC meeting till 12am, now 1.20am. tomorrow 6am need to wake up for both services, after service album prac till 2.30pm, then teach drums 3.30-10pm.
january's fridays n weekends are really fully packed. argh.. i'm in such a fine mood of loathing abt tiredness..
ok God, you win.. I need you.. just hanging around listening to this song.. listening, singing... then i'll go sleep.. How i miss being a child with you.
i remember when i was 5 or 6 years old at this children's camp in Kota Tinggi, when i closed my eyes and be totally soaked in the presence of God, the innocent pure soul with God, and i forgot about time passing by, i forgot about lunch time until somebody reminds me..
that's where i wanna be.
fill my heart with you something that will satisfy back to the basics back to love back to you only, and only you nothing else will do..
i just read someone's secret blog and some of the things the blogger lamented made me think about the life that i had, and i wonder why i am quite okay and happy in my circumstance.
i'm in college now and i gotha make this entry in 5mins.
i have been alone most of my life in 2007, college no friends cos everybody got click already, i ate most of my meals alone, study alone, and when i fail in certain papers, the ppl in my class already moved on.
my sister once said that a normal person will be quite sad to live my life, and some of her dependent friends might go crazy. lol. mom once said that dunno why throughout my whole study life there's no church ppl same school as me; and every school that i went to, i have to make new friends all over again.
and there's minimal outside help in my studies, have to be independent.
i rarely receive phone calls or sms concerning my welfare, most of the time it is reminders to go for meetings, practices, to replace other drummer, looking for transport, doing things for other ppl.
i guess God is molding me for something difficult in the future, i fear.. but I'm happy for the life i have now, and i am a happier person every year. =) i think =P
slept at 1am the previous night, cos watched dvd & talked to sis, and next day woke up at 7am to record the teenz album "raw material" mp3 into my player n go church to serve in drums.
after de service go buy lunch and on the way almost got knocked over by this car, i was riding bike btw. the driver turned at the junction and turned into my lane pulak, stupid, wanna kill me is it, another 2 feet and i might see me life flashing before my eyes. no horn, no nothing, drive on - life of motorists in JB, ppl who don't ride bike won't understand.
prac album, go teach drums. sigh, can't go teenz wmm appreciation dinner two weeks later cos got extra class in s'pore. can't go tnt service, gotha teach drums, a tiring job which i enjoy.
today - siao, cos from 7am to 10pm now is no-rest pit stop, 15 hours makes my brain wanna burst and die (sleep). and riding bike is so fun but so tiring, rain somemore.
today's drum lesson: this cute girl told me she's tired too (when i apologised that i might be more tired than usual), cos she wakes up at 9am, lol.. in my mind: what is freaking 9am man, sleep so late. But i admire children, all the "sweet-&-everything-nice".
Then i got home, and mom saved some leftovers for me. hee, so nice, got vegetables & steamed egg. haha, nice....
so now kinda happy & i wanna sleep.
wish that one day i could play drums al fresco on a windy sunset.. *hey, that looks like adult Jesmond, ha
Watched a documentary about him, a dutch post-impressionist artist. son of a pastor, early years as apprentice of art dealer, teacher & missionary. Nice, very interesting life, fantastic paintings, but sad ending..
it would be nice to be like him, minus the illness & suicide..
Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey, Look out on a summer's day, With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, Sketch the trees and the daffodils, Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now.
Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze, Swirling clouds in violet haze, Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue. Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain, Weathered faces lined in pain, Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now.
For they could not love you, But still your love was true. And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night, You took your life, as lovers often do. But I could have told you, Vincent, This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you.
Starry, starry night. Portraits hung in empty halls, Frameless head on nameless walls, With eyes that watch the world and can't forget. Like the strangers that you've met, The ragged men in the ragged clothes, The silver thorn of bloody rose, Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will...
There are so many things and i'll try to recall them chronologically. lately getting lazy to put thoughts into organised words. so here goes flying thoughts.
Before Christmas day
Was caught up in some practices for the tebrau jusco performance with my dear bro and other 2 musicians from bilingual service, just played for the one at permas jusco and felt pumped up for another christian one in public.
it's nice to be involved in tough drumming during the final night rally. seeing them all, especially dancers sweating practices for months for 3 nights for God, the strong bond between them, it was special, something i haven't seen in a while, and missed.
after tebrau jusco, ke lun (the dance director) asked me to play solo of Mighty To Save to help build "omph" for the dancers, that was 2 days before and i was nervous cos i need to be professional enough - to be able to do it perfectly without any prior practice. I couldn't spoil the dancers' 3 months of effort. listened and wrote scores for it.
the week was all food, almost every dinner. it was very fulfilling - my stomach was happy but with a tear - too much doesn't equal too good. fellowship is fantastic, though i can't remember.. oh.. this is bad.
I watched this 2007 movie called "The Ultimate Gift". and i find myself watching the BEST movie of my life.
this is the soundtrack:
The last night rally is good, too bad not many ppl came to Christ, but i believed that it sowed good seeds. I am glad that i played well, i see the dancers so happy and clapping and shouting "praise the Lord" after it ends. Should have look to God more during the drum solos..
I'm glad that i am blurring the line that i serve in english service or bilingual.
Christmas day.
well, after receiving sara's thank-you email, i'm glad that i involved another 2 drummers to play in the eng service rally. thomas is going off very soon, and he deserves a whack at the drums during christmas, hee. well, i have this feeling that i won't be in eng ser for too long, even without this feeling, it's always good to train new blood. the prospect of english service new drummers is a silent tsunami. A future problem that needs to be addressed yesterday. and i always felt i didn't do enough, though nobody's saying or asking me to do anything.
Rally is fantastic. i think it's the most ppl coming back to Christ, ever, in english service history.
i witness God's amazing grace, that is not by power, but by God's super spirit. yay-ness =)
pastry is sedap, sara's candy is nice - kept me awake during sermon, cos i was so tired. i'm happy about the few small n nice gifts that i received, cookies, little jar, chocolate and the "monkey" pen, and some sms-es. "hey, the invisible man got gifts!"
the tnt barbeque night is unforgettable. i won't forget the times listening to people, seeing smiles, laughters, with christmas songs playing and me munching on turkey & lamb with so many 'ang-moh' sauces. God brought me unexpected friends in such a short time.
my only regret is not spending time alone with God to celebrate his birthday.
oh ya, also spent time talking to Ke Tyng, her testimony, and about God's move that is going to change the church on 2008. heh, as i'm typing this it looks so spiritual.. haha. wassup...
After christmas
movies, c-s, zoo with cell group. lots of fun with less sleep, woo hoo! more food coming..
Seems that there are so many things to do & enjoy while christmas is coming to town. I really enjoyed the CSI game. Seeing the commitment of those ppl, like grace, anne, jeff, boon&ann, ke tyng, ken, raymond.. Their silent effort inspired me to do more for the sake of the gospel.
Chin Lee from my tnt cell really amazed me by bringing 4 friends to the game. I can see how everybody contribute their little or much to the whole event, it wonderful to witness the great Architect putting together little lives that compounded impact on the lives around them.
=)
while reading is educational & considered fun, typing is a donkey-chore, i would like to order a machine that types thoughts and vision fast, if God sells them. The holocaust is so much bigger than i thought, one of the most documented piece of history in the world. Some people spent half their lifetime researching & documenting. there are more than 10 Holocaust museums in the whole world..
i find that my writing is really bad in comparison with the writers and decided to copy the parts that i find informative and heart-warming, or heart-wrenching.
next, coming up, is tonight's ITC ex-SPM students' gathering. Tomorrow is ITC teachers' appreciation, followed (the day after) by Cell Group's christmas dinner n celebration of hope.
just finished watching the 3+hour long movie: Schindler's List, visited the bugis reference library and read some books on the holocaust, some really horrific details left me sleepless, slept late n woke up at 3am, sigh, but it's a good challenge & life-changing.. my first self-initiated project and it's so difficult (than expected) to put it into words...
i'm so excited abt christmas, hope that everything will wrap up nicely.. =)
tomorrow's (sat) going to be a busy day. morning go help repair roof at kulai, then 1pm prac for teenz, 6pm prac for xmas@tebrau jusco, 7pm prac for night service, 10pm prac for jusco permas.
quite fun, a good break from studying. but then, january is too soon. next week gotha spend some time reading, thinking & writing abt the project, trying to finish everything b4 christmas.
Tomorrow's gonna be my last day of exam, and before college commences again in early Jan 2008, besides preparing for christmas celebration & the performance@Jusco (with bilingual service), i'm going to do a simple project/research for myself in understanding the holocaust. words will be written by myself & i'll attach photos or maybe videos too.
If someone were to approach me and asked what I have learned this year or also for the past 2 years, I would pause and think, let memories of dusk sweep over me like petals of unforgettable fragrance and pain, and say.. I learned that life is, when you give away and expect nothing back, but taste the pinch of sweetness, a remembrance of someone who gave away everything on the cross. And I learned, that focus is everything. I also learned that today is the most beautiful, not yesterday, not tomorrow. Lastly, never, never... never ever think of giving up.
A very good sermon. to me, it seems to be accurate historically, scientifically, theologically; and the way he presents it brings edification & not fear, and at the end extends a loving invitation to receive Christ. though i'm not sure abt his views about the Toronto revival.
nice =)
Some good exposure & food for thought for the holiday season.
I was quite quite happy & relaxed on this Sunday noon, just came back from Layang-layang Church this morning (followed my parents to that small church to minister), played drums and shared my testimony before sermon.
But as I made that 1 hour trip back home, the reality of the next day's exam set in, I got really depressed and all sorts of other stresses start streaming in. Although I have good grades for SPM, but my college results have been a real roller-coaster ride, and I developed super great fear for my ACCA (association of chartered certified accountants) exams, (even when I am prepared for exams).
I didn't attend Dav&Nec's wedding lunch, rest a while at home, and went to Plaza Pelangi's Coffee Bean to do my last revision. I wondered if God really cared, amongst the mission trips & weddings, if I am someone who is always on and off God's radar of attention & guidance. After 4 years of skipping TEENz camp & overseas mission trips (coz of exam), and sometimes feeling lost in my spiritual life & direction, I have doubts on myself.
Sms-ed titus (best buddy), asked him to come over to talk a bit to "de-stress", continue studying, feeling the effects of super caffeine. And then came a whole bunch of TnT dudes, like waves, a few groups (surprise, surprise!). Some of them sat with me, others sat at nearby tables, chilling out after the heavy wedding lunch. Having them around seems like a totally bad idea for a last day revision, but somehow they make me feel a lot calmer to study, and some topics that the dudes at my table are chatting helped me to dispel some of my fears and doubts about God.
After a long while, they left, I studied a little while more, went home to have dinner & wrap up my studies.. knowing full well that with God, I'm never alone.
just came back from layang-layang church on sunday. went there wif parents for a little exposure, mom played guitar & lead worship, i play drums, and later gave a testimony during sermon. was nice. Simple. Just nice & simple.
As exams are coming soon (tomorrow), negative thoughts come like 'siao' to haunt me..
Torn between the regret of the past & resistance of living a new future, i think i lost my ability to love, and be my true self.. Sometimes don't know what's wrong with myself..
It is 1015 in my study, rain fill and filled of rain. on the moldy roof, seasoned trees, slow drain seeping through gentle thunders dripping down, against walls of unseen sky reflecting the leafs that break each drip feeling fall in each voice moving, and still..
it blew, so nice and coldly caressing rest and comfort in soundless study sad violin and low cellos of thought lulls in warm yellowy glows shining, dulling light singing midsummer's drizzle lullaby to a sweet fluttering curtain in a besotted night sky
Was it the curtain or eyes that flutter to a dream so far to conceive trodden European steps or stargazing drum beats aspirations without sweat and now the rain is stagnating
finally re-created the old secret poem blog that i had a few years ago. =] why i kept it a secret at that time, hmm.. to make it special, and because it was too feminine, haha..
To maximise ease of view without affecting the blog's music, look at right column, under "BLOG ARCHIVE", click "2007 (50)". -all the poems will appear on the page. there might be a comment or two under each poem, old comments given by other ppl or my brief explanation of the poem.
I always read them real slowly, then a picture will form in my mind (exactly like how it was 3 yrs ago), and the storyline starts moving. ya, i'm a reflective & introspective creature, a dreamy one.
..hmm.. maybe i should start writing my kind of poetry again, after exams.. *meanwhile, as exams are approaching, i am trying my very best not to blog, so, for now just read poetry la, haha. korang suffer! =P
A really moving movie, abt the great struggle of slaves & politicians (William Wilberforce) to abolish the slave trade, the humble life of amazing grace's author, love that blossoms in faith & hope, and the friendship that is torn apart & brought together by politics & passion. This is a movie that will truly touch your heart, if you are someone that watches movies that are a little deeper with tons of thoughtful conversation. Not in M'sia theatres, grab a dvd copy from stores available, heh.
2 quotes from the movie::
A cold morning in the countryside, the William Wilberforce went out of his house to lie on the wet grass in his garden.
"Dear God, I know this is utterly absurd, but I feel I have to meet you in secret."
And another day when William Wilberforce went to a church to seek advice from John Newton, the pastor & author of the song 'amazing grace'.
"Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly. I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior."
I saw this film on October 10th, 2006 in Indianapolis. I am one of the judges for the Heartland Film Festival's Truly Moving Picture Award. A Truly Moving Picture "…explores the human journey by artistically expressing hope and respect for the positive values of life." Heartland gave that award to this film.
This is an inspiring story based on a legendary historical British Member of Parliament, William Wilberforce. During the late 18th century and early 19th century, a very young Wilberforce is elected to Parliament and over the course of several decades leads the fight to ban slavery.
Today this seems like an easy, obvious and intuitive decision. But this was not so 200 years ago. The film clearly explains the entrenched economic motives and the political motives for slavery. Wilberforce starts out as almost a force of one and slowly builds abolitionist momentum by brilliant oratory, political maneuvers, and appealing to his fellow man's better nature.
Ioan Gruffudd is totally believable in explaining to the audience the complexity and heroism of Wilberforce. Wilberforce over the course of his life is sickly and strong, religious and worldly, naive and romantic, and idealistic and practical.
During the course of this mostly political story, we get to see the immense cruelty shown to the captured Africans turned into slaves. We are shown the slave sailing ships where the captured are treated inhumanely and die of starvation, neglect, disease, and filth. Man's inhumanity to man was never worse.
Wilberforce is a great man of history even though mostly forgotten today. He respected his fellow man regardless of their station in life. He was always willing to sacrifice his life and health to help others. And his compassion and spirit was always masked by his humility. He is a hero for all ages.
This is a period piece and you are lost in it because of the attention to detail. The sets, art direction, and costumes allow you to totally suspend disbelief and be moved by the story.
Although i don't have her pic, but this is a similar pic that i came across while browsing. similar to my drum student, Angel's eyes. =)
A pair of eyes that can see through your soul.
sigh.. =] I find that teaching children drums, listening to their innocent chatter & smile really brought me immense satisfaction in my work. I know children can be really naughty, but so far the bunch of little angels just keep sprinkling inspiration & little joys on my Sundays.
The thought of leaving them next year to focus only on the older ones (who are going to serve in 6 months) and to focus on TEENz album, leaves a tinge of sadness in the sweetness of memories.
Last time I can daydream of having a sweet & beautiful daughter or niece to take care of, without much thought about my life partner. heh, weird. Gosh, reminds me of the time when i first attended tnt cell, and two members thought i'm already married with kids.
k la, better not talk so much 'bout kids, i am still not yet good in taking care of myself, lest a gf or angel.
It's good to be 22 yrs old and be teaching little angels to play some mean drums. ha. Enjoy your Deepavali holiday. =)
It is wednesday, faithful wednesday night in cold sweat, when it is the middle of a week, or weak. I am going to study soon, but later than the latter sweat.
Watched blogs of people and reflecting against my life, and today. It's so difficult to open up, when i can't see people, with my heart.
..
Last friday was the pastor's fellowship dinner at Danga Bay, was nice, food and all. played. Two of my drum students were there, cute angels. Finished carrying back the stuffs into the van, talk to the Ts, went off, to the beach. Busy, noisy, lone quiet beach.
Again at memories, received the familiar text. Enjoyed a new view, light in darkness. Old waves dying, even in new pushes. Salty waters reflect heartbeat of the moment, (pause)
Cried out loud in silence.
Three winks and last saturday, co-leaded and interpreted, sang words that turned into song, like that.
and, the song "Still", and words that came later like rain, Upon me.
Please God, shine through the cracks on the wall.
Come another day, winks. You, come changing my world, one heartbeat at a time, making history with every touch, every word.
Yay, got meself some stuffs to prac at home.. This is really good, got it a few weeks ago. practice drum set with rubber pads and plastic cymbals, very 'noiseless'. Quite nice to play wif and prac some chops. Took me 1 hour to assemble it.. nice to play together wif songs, wif the 2-3 month old speaker on my desk. Yay heh heh!!! It's something i used to dream of and should have done it years ago.. Then today i just ordered a cajon!! =) (pronounced as "cahon") will get it next week, then i'll have something to play with during cell group! =)
wiki:
A cajón (Spanish for 'crate', 'drawer', or 'box', pronounced 'ka.CHON') is a kind of box drum played by slapping the front face (generally thin plywood) with the hands.
The cajón is the most widely used Afro-Peruvian musical instrument in the 20th century.[1]The instrument has been officially declared "Cultural Patrimony of the Nation" by the Peruvian government.
Slaves of West and Central African origin in the Americas, specifically Peru, are considered to be the source of the cajón drum; though the instrument is common in musical performance throughout the Americas, especially Cuba. In Cuba, the cajón is associated with the Afro-Cuban drum/song/dance style known as rumba, while in Peru it is associated with several Afro-Peruvian genres.
The cajón was most likely developed in coastal Peru during the early 1800s.[2] The instrument reached a peak in popularity by 1850, and by the end of the 19th century cajón players were experimenting with the design of the instrument by bending some of the planks in the cajón's body to alter the instrument's patterns of sound vibration.[3]
In contemporary times, the instrument became an integral important part of Peruvian musicCuban music. and
In the 1970s the instrument was introduced to Flamenco music by guitarist Paco de Lucía.
How Norah Jone's drummer play it (using mallet).. (note that her backup singer is asian, heh)
Patti ish a girl drummer =)
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For they could not love you,
Starry, starry night.
